Anonymous

How to split living cost with my boyfriend? what is the correct/ fair way?

Okay he has now moved in with me. Total of all the outgoing bills (rent/ gas/ electric/water rates/ council tax ect) = to £800 per month. This does not cover food shopping and petrol money for a shared car.

I suggested splitting it 50/50 so £400 each per month. And we would take turns/ share the costs for food and petrol within the month. 

He earns around £2000 per month

I earn £1500 per month

I also have a 16 month old son from a previous relationship. My ex partner contributes money towards his living expenses. 

Do you think this is fair, he thinks he should only pay £300 per month (£75 per week) 

Update:

He has no reasoning, he just refused to pay half the bills. I told him if he isn't going to pay half than id rather pay them all my self than have a free loader living with me.

9 Answers

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  • drip
    Lv 7
    1 month ago
    Favorite Answer

    Sounds like he is trying to include your son in splitting the costs. Everything should be half and half. Rent, utilities, gas, car.   Your child’s clothes, daycare, toys should all be on you and his father.

    If he doesn’t want to slip 50/50, that says a lot about his character. Do you want to be with a guy like this?

  • T J
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    no way...50/50 or he moves out.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Sit down with each of your living expenses and each of your salaries and see who can afford this or that, etc. Obviously the one who makes more money needs to keep their in salary in mind. 

  • 1 month ago

    If you're worried about what's "fair" then you aren't ready to be moving in together as a romantic couple. You're just roommates who have sex with each other.

    The correct way to do it is to combine your finances, and use your $3500/ month income to pay your bills and invest for your shared mutual benefit. Most couples call that "marriage" and it works best when you don't keep score and worry about what's "fair"

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  • 1 month ago

    Depends on your relationship. I earn more than my partner, substantially so we both put 1/3 of our earnings into a joint account every months which the bills come out of and we always have some left over which we use for food and going out (when we can). I think doing it as a percentage of your earning is much fairer in my opinion, others may feel differently. 

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Doesn't sound like your in a good relationship and you should have figured out the finances before moving him in.

  • Jerry
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    If getting the shared bills is a continual headache, you end that headache by ending the sharing bills arrangement. If you'd rather he moved out, then you insist he move out. Don't make it about who is or is not justified in his/her expectations about money. Make it about "We couldn't come to an agreement about how to split costs" instead of assigning blame. 

    It doesn't matter that much whether or not you're being reasonable or fair, whether or not he's being reasonable or fair. All that matters is that you and he have irreconcilable differences in the matter of how to divide shared costs. 

    Working out shared living quarters is headache enough when it's purely a financial arrangement, when the person is only a room mate and not a friend or romantic partner. When you add the complications of there being a special relationship with the room mate, it gets really complicated. So it's not a big surprise that these arrangements often don't last long. It's not that anybody is a villain, just that sharing a home is HARD and doesn't always succeed. 

  • 1 month ago

    Do you consider that there are three residents and you ought to pay for two, or two residents and a third one who gets to live for free?  That is the argument here, pure and simple.  Supposedly, you are receiving CS that is in part intended to cover some of the cost of rent (housing), so it seems to me to be fair and just that you use it for the purpose it is intended.

    But if you can't see a fair and just distribution of income and responsibilities, you probably should not be living together.

  • 1 month ago

    I think what you suggested is fair.

    What was his reasoning to only pay 300?

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