Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 2 months ago

How do parents even raise their kids and talk to their siblings like this? I don't understand.?

My stepdad is the complete opposite of what he says.

My stepdad is literally the most annoying, hypocritical and narcissistic family member I ever have to deal with. He is also highly prejudiced towards other races that aren't Armenian or white. He says stuff along the lines of "don't brag about it" or "don't comment on other stuff," but he is the one doing it himself. Just today my brother told his dad (read: my stepdad) that he needs to stop acting like that towards a small, innocent kitty in our house (yelling through the top of his lungs after maybe a small **** incident); and he (my stepdad) tells him (my brother) not to tell him (my stepdad) what to do. He then goes on and on, saying he can do whatever he wants, that he raised "like 20 cats and dogs."

Few months ago when I was talking to my therapist over the phone upstairs, I would say things like "my stepdad is a fascist, he says racist things." My stepdad overheard me and got super offended. He threatened to kick me out if I said something like that again. He said he's got Black, Jewish, Muslim, and Asian friends and "hired them," so he can't be racist. I told him, I didn't know that he could hear me upstairs (while he was working). He thinks there should be reparations for Native Americans, but a while back he thought all of the Black protestors are thugs and caring about the lives of Black people is too "radical." Oh, and he consistently uses words like "gay," "retarded," "sensitive" as insults.


(Personally, I'm OK with retarded as an insult, but not the other two.) He especially calls my brother sensitive, a "crybaby," "sissy," whenever he tells my stepdad about issues he's going through, even if it's between him and his cousins/friends.

The way my stepdad (in mid-40s) talks to his youngest brother (who is in his mid-30s) is ******* brutal and extremely rude. He literally yelled on top of his lungs, "**** YOU ************ piece of ****" in a very negative, very serious tone. 

Update 2:

All of his family is enabling him. The reason my mom and my stepdad didn't divorce is because they work hard to buy my brother and me lots of food and stuff.

My mom and I have to enable all the crap he says because he's "the man of the house." I am easily triggered, but I am trying to be less triggered this year. I try not to show it but I care about everyone. My stepdad and my mom both know what "sensitive" means but they continue using it like it means stupid or offended.

Update 3:

He's cool at times (especially to me), but for the most part he is liks the stereotypical dysfunctional father.

3 Answers

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    No child should be abused, verbally or physically - BUT you were in YOUR STEPFATHER’S HOME calling him a fascist/racist? I’d be “super offended,” too. I also think there should be reparations for Native Americans. What does THAT have to do with thinking all black protestors are thugs and that caring about their welfare is radical? ALL insults are inappropriate. I have NO idea what you are “easily triggered” means. I suspect it means that you aren’t a fun stepchild.

    Incidentally, you complain that he yells (literally as opposed to figuratively), “"**** YOU ************ piece of ****" in a very negative, very serious tone. Is there a way to yell “"**** YOU ************ piece of ****" in a positive way?

    But this is what it boils down to for me - your STEPDAD works hard to buy you and your brother “lots of food and stuff.” Is there some reason your BIRTH father and BIRTH mother can’t or don’t work hard to buy you and your brother “lots of food and stuff?”   If your mother is staying with an abusive man AT THE EXPENSE OF HER CHILDREN'S MENTAL HEALTH for the "food and stuff," she's negligent.  She may be negligent for exposing you and your brother to your stepfather's behavior.  If so, you will be removed from the home AND your therapist is a mandated reporter.  All therapists MUST report abuse to the authorities.

    Wait until you are 18, move out and never again have contact with your stepdad or your mother (whose DUTY, by the way, is to protect her children, and she’s not doing a very good job of it).

    This is an example of a situation where Child Protective Services should be notified, should track your IP address, should locale you and your brother and should remove them from your stepfather’s house and place you in a facility. I don’t know if that’s possible. Someone who understands the Internet probably knows.

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    its just the way some people are

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    he sounds insecure.

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