Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 2 months ago

Please could use some advice.?

Trying to keep a long story short. I have been dating my boyfriend for 2 and a half years now. We are like actual best friends. We don’t really argue. But there is an issue, his family, his age.He’s 14 years older than me. I’m 22, so you do the math lol. First his family, they are very overwhelming, involved, like too involved. They boss him around, us around, and he’s a full grown man. Not to mention I’ve had several instances with his family members where they’ve said rude things to me.

 He still lives at home, he has a good job but doesn’t save money, he doesn’t seem like he wants to move out anytime soon. He’s just comfortable living at home being bossed around by his mother and siblings. The issue is that he’s too set in his ways. His last girlfriend broke up with him over the same issues I’m having, which leads me to believe he will never change.

 For the past two and a half years, I have had to bend my school and work schedule for him because we only get two days to see each other, and I’m tired of it. It’s not easy to do. The days that we do see each other, we spend it doing things he has to do, or things his family need us to do. I almost feel obligated to do things for him and his family cause then I’ll feel like a bad girlfriend if I don’t. I’m not saying he’s a bad boyfriend, but there are issues, and we don’t really talk about them, cause I guess we are afraid to argue. I have thoughts about breaking up with him, which scares me. I’m confused I really am. 

3 Answers

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    Ehhh, you're only 22.  You shouldn't be having so many problems and complications when you're still this young.  He's already 36, going on to be 40 in a few years so that's a big age difference and also a red flag that he doesn't really have his life figured out.  At that age, you should have at least some idea of who you are and plans for the future, but it seems like this guy has none since you say he's content with being bossed around by his family and siblings.  And as for you, being in your early twenties, you should be dating whoever you want, having fun, and living life.  I would think about your feelings for him - if they're really strong, then try to talk about it with him, but if he's just someone you're dating at the moment, I wouldn't bother.  You guys are clearly at different stages of your life, I wouldn't keep him around just to bring you unnecessary pain.

  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    I read that whole thing and extrapolated from it nothing but "bad boyfriend". One wonders what you see in this guy. Partners who spend every dime they earn with no thought for the future are impossible to be with unless you have the means to earn all the money in the relationship. 

  • T J
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    You never date or marry a momma's boy like this. Your future is as bright as a burned out light bulb. If you are foolish enough to stay with him, In time you will get fed up and run from that mess. Break up now and tell him why.

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