0290 asked in Society & CultureEtiquette · 2 months ago

MY BOYFRIEND'S 4 Y/O DAUGHTER REMOVED MY 3 Y/O SON'S LEARNING DEVICE FROM MY HOME WITHOUT ASKING ON XMAS DAY!?

This is a very delicate subject as it involves my boyfriend's 4 y/o daughter. We all spent XMAS together and when she left my house with her dad she somehow removed an electronic learning device that belongs to my son. 

I discovered this when my boyfriend and I were on the phone as he headed home and a familiar sound was buzzing in his background. I asked him what was that noise and he replied with it being a device she had. I then described the device to which he said "yeah that's it" and I told him that belonged to my son. He told me I placed it in her XMAS bag with the presents I brought her and I knew right away that was a lie. I then told him "that device should've never left my house" and he got quiet. I then politely asked him to please return it when he comes back over and he promptly said "okay" .... I'm only bothered because it felt like he didn't want to admit what actually took place i.e... stealing/taking things and if he and I are going to come together in the future I think it's important to be honest and upfront when little things come up. 

13 Answers

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  • 2 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    I don't blame you at all for being bothered by what went down.

    Obviously one of them is dishonest and yes, a thief. 

    That scenario doesn't seem to be so innocent as some of these answers gave. I guess none of them believe in accountability. The little girl was in the wrong IF she's the one who took the device, knowing it was wrong because she didn't ask to borrow it, she hid it, then waited until she left your home, then took it out of her bag to play

    with. I'm surprised her dad didn't question her about having that item since he had to have known it wasn't gifted to her nor gift wrapped. I'm sure he already knew what presents you had bought for her.Either that, or the dad took it for her seeing how she had coveted it earlier.Why would he say that YOU placed placed it in his daughter's bag?! Especially AFTER you told him that the device was your son's?! He could have, or should have asked you if you had put that device in her bag.To make matters worse, he offers no apology, nor questions his daughter about taking your son's device, so that makes him very suspect . An honorable man, if innocent, would have turned around and brought your son's device right back.If by a freak chance, do you think your son might have put his device in the girl's Xmas bag, not realizing that they'd think it was gifted to her? If that's not the case, then I'd think long and hard about that whole scenario, it doesn't bode well at all.I'd also check and see if other things are missing. I think you handled that sticky situation very well. As for some of the answers on here, I don't see it all all that you called him a thief or accused them of being thieves, you just let him know that the device was your son's and wasn't supposed to leave your house. Good luck and be careful of his actions in the future.

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    He sounds like one of the faultless type. Don't sweat the small stuff.

  • 2 months ago

    OK so your mind is made up about it...so what is your question? All you have posted is a not very interesting rant.

  • 2 months ago

    Okay.

    Now what was your question, please?

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  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Christmas can be a frenzy so unless this guy has a track record of unseemly behavior I'd tend to believe it was just a mistake. But four year-olds aren't generally well versed yet in basics like "don't steal". So I wouldn't freak out about this. Your bf has some parenting to do for sure but if otherwise the relationship is good I wouldn't go to war over this. 

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    Have you ever thought the daughter may have put the "learning device" in the bag and your boyfriend was really unaware of the situation?  Unless this is a recurring problem, I wouldn't worry about it.

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    talk to your boyfriend about it

  • y
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    So you called him  liar when the reality is, it could have easily been mixed up in the bag as he said. That is what gave him pause, that you could so easily not only jump to, but not even consider. Anything but stealing by either him or his kid. That would give me pause also.

  • susan
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Please do not assume that he told a deliberate lie. He may have thought that was true. 3 year old children are unreliable witnesses as they can barely distinguish between something they thought of, imagined, or a real memory of something that happened. By now whatever she told her father is what she really believes. Whether she believed it at first is anybody's guess. 

    If he returns the item, thank him. Then in the future put that item away before the other child is coming over. If your boyfriend doesn't return the item next time he comes, continue to ask for it, but do it nicely, without accusation. Whatever happened, it happened when the adults were distracted, so you really don't know exactly what the whole truth is.

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    You need to immediately notify the authorities.  If the thief is arrested and spends a significant period of time in detention, hopefully this unfortunate situation won't repeat itself.  I'm sure your BF will support this course of action.

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