Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 1 month ago

If a child got more benefits from parents before, fairer for the child to decline an equal gift (so other children will get more now)?

I have one brother and my parents just gave him almost $100,000, since he was earning less this year due to COVID-19.  My parents didn’t tell me, but he did, and he offered half of it to me.

We both have worked hard and have more money than we’ll ever spend, though.

I went to a private high school and to graduate school, and my parents paid for both.  They gave him a nice car for college graduation, but he went to college only and a public high school.

So I’ve gotten more in the past from them.

Should I point that out to him and offer to let him keep the current gift?

I still come out ahead in the “score” of how much we’ve received from our parents.

He has ignored them for the past 15 years, while I visited them once a month.  We both live hundreds of miles away from our parents so I have made an effort to look after them and he has not, but that is secondary and irrelevant for this.  At least I think.



Thanks everyone.  We’re both multimillionaires but he has probably five times more money than I do; he is very wealthy.

I emailed him and explained that I got more than he did when we were younger and so he can keep the recent gift if he wants.

4 Answers

  • 1 month ago
    Favorite Answer

    This money isn't irrelevant.  He's chosen his life and you have chosen yours.  He lives miles away and ignores your parents and is probably very grateful that you are caring for them.  He probably feels he needs to give you some of this cash & considers it a suitable recompense for all the care you have lavished on your parents on his behalf.  I presume offering it makes him feel good.  You say neither of you need the cash but he wants to gift some of it to you.  It's up to you really isn't it.  Your generous and rich parents know you are well-fixed financially and are making sure their other child is comfortably off during this pandemic.  You could, if giving money to you is indeed what he thinks he owes you, accept a third of it.  Or you can explain all that scoring to him and decide not to accept the gift.  Sounds like your brother is as generous as your parents.  They appear to have brought up both of you to be equally generous.  Whatever you do - don't fall out over money.  You shouldn't really keep score inside families.

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    thats up to the child

  • T J
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    Bottom line, its the parents money, and they will do as they feel they should with their money. Right or wrong. It happens in many families. If you both are well off, I see no reason why they did to start with.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Aside from your brother having ignored your parents for 15 years (there's probably more to that story), you both sound like the kind of person I'd want for a sibling. I don't know that you have to do a complete tally of who got what, when, and how; just offer to let him keep the current gift.

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