Future mother-in-law ask how much is the ring?
So, me and my fiancé got engaged couple of days ago. We did it privately and blah blah. So we took couple of pictures together and I sent to my parents and he to his mom. Today he told me like, "well my mom now knows we are engaged. Guess what she asked first, `How much was the ring?`"
I'm like what? No congratulations and what not? That kinda make me not so good. I feel like she doesn't like the idea of her son paying for 2 rings.
Am I imagining things or that's really weird.
So the "question is"
Am I imagining things or that's really weird for my future mother-in-law ask how much is the ring without congratulating us?
Thanks for all your answers. Yes maybe I am overthinkg and stuff. well, just if any of you misunderstand me, he is not a youth. He is 38 now. And the ring is not over expensive it is under 550Euros but the mother-in-law thinks it is too expensive. And no I'm not a gold-digger or any sort, I always pay for my expenses. It just took me offgaurd and wanted to clarify my mind.
Anyway thanks for your time :)
- ?Lv 72 months agoFavorite Answer
In married life you pick your battles, especially when it comes to nosy in-laws. This really isn't a battle worth having and it's likely you're just overthinking it.
While inappropriate, this is totally a mom question.
She may be worried it's something he can't afford or that it may cause a financial strain for him regardless of whether or not it's true and regardless of it not being any of her business. I have 2 young adult kids and I might worry about them financially on certain things they might purchase, even though it's none of my business. One of them is pretty tight with the dollar and probably has the first one she ever made. The other one is YOLO and an impulsive shopper who thinks about today but not tomorrow, so I'd be more likely to ask her such a question.
Chalk this up as a nosy person, being nosy.
- TrishLv 52 months ago
None of her business and you're not overreacting. Feed her with a long handle spoon 🥄.
- Dr. StephanieLv 72 months ago
Clearly, her question was inappropriate. You didn't have to tell her how much the ring was, however, you AND your fiance could have said "That's a private matter", and let it go at that.
Be on guard, between now and your wedding, for signs that she may be a controller and overly involved in her son's life (and thus yours!).
And this may be a challenge for you, now and in the future, if you proceed to marry,unless your fiance stands his ground and puts you first, and doesn't allow his mother to run the show. Good luck!
- 2 months ago
I think you might be misunderstanding it. His mom asked him, not you! She's looking out for you -- making sure that her son wasn't a cheapskate! Just relax, it really has nothing at all to do with you.
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- dripLv 72 months ago
Yes that is a weird first comeback . Sounds like your fiancé thinks so too. Did he tell her how much the ring cost?
Time to sit down with him and have a talk about your finances and how much you will or will not share with your parents.
I would never tell my mom about any aspects of our finances. She is very nosy. I actually hide out mail when she comes over.
- MamawidsomLv 72 months ago
You're being way over sensitive and insecure. You actually don't know what she said, you only know that your fiancé told you the first QUESTION she asked was about the price of the ring. Not the same as her first comment. She may well have suspected that you were on the path to engagement, so it isn't a surprise. I also don't know the parents tend to say "congrats" the way a friend would. She may well have also said, "Well done! I'm so happy for you. She's wonderful! How much did you pay for the ring?"
Here's an important reality you need to accept:
1. Your MiL-to-be may not like you. She may not want her son to get married yet. She may not approve of the ring or how much you did or didn't spend. She is a person entitled to her opinions.
2. You are marrying into a family. You and you fiancé have be able to address issues calmly and honestly like adults. You won't be happy and the marriage won't last long if you start jumping to conclusions and feeling upset instead of talking about things. And your fiancé also has to be willing to stand up for you and your marriage. If he always sides with his mother or defends her if, in the future, she crosses the line, then you have a problem.
- Anonymous2 months ago
i think you'll get over it. most people don't care when others get engaged. it's not that big of an achievement. wait until the wedding.
- JonLv 62 months ago
It certainly wasn't the right thing to say, and evidently your fiance doesn't think so either, or he wouldn't have bothered to mention it. But I advise not taking it personally. You're likely in for a lot of such weirdness in the future, so the sooner you can learn not to let it get to you, the better. You can also let your fiance know that it's OK not to tell you about such remarks.
- T JLv 62 months ago
What apiece of work, to ask such a thing...I hope he did not tell her. BTW, Is he a Momma's boy? If he is, give back the ring and run from him and his mommy. No, its not normal for her to ask, I never heard of such a thing, and im a lot older than you. Good luck with dealing with her if you still want to get married,and mixed up in whatever goes on between your BF, and his mommy.
- Anonymous2 months ago
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