Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 2 months ago

Care to diagnose my dad?

I know only a clinician can diagnose him, so will take answers with a grain of salt. 

THIS IS JUST one of many incidents. He has always been abusive. 

So out of the blue, he went hard at my mother today about “money” owed. 10 years ago, he lent $5000 to his sister in law (my mum’s sister). Mum is 100% certain it was paid back, but it was so long ago and hard to prove and was randomly bought up this year. He wants hard evidence which she cannot find. So there has been a huge mess, and she has literally begged him not to confront her family with fear that it would put a wedge between them. So he does it anyway, confronts my mum’s sister. My mother was in tears and very embarrassed about it all. I didn’t realise throughout the year, he has been yelling/ emotionally abusing her about this topic. The interesting thing is, he has money, and throws it around. Anyway my aunt (mum’s sister) paid mum the money back regardless knowing how distressed and upset my mum was about it all. And my mum plans to pay her back behind his back. Today, she accidentally payed in my mum’s personal account. I witnessed them talking and he BLEW UP AT HER! Accusing her of tricking her, lying. He wants her to put it in his personal account. He wants to be proven as right. He wants them to be apologetic. He doesn’t care about the distress he is causing his wife, and doesn’t care if he ruins the relationship they have. What personality disorder is this?

Update:

I know it’s just one incident but yahoo has a 1500 word limit so I can’t just unrail everything. 

He also doesn’t have any true friendships. He has a huge commitment with the church community where he is raised on a pedestal and given respect/praise. But behind the scenes, he’s a totally different person.

Growing up, he used to beat me for the smallest of all things. We grew up in a family business, and prevented me from having any social life.Instead treated me more of a ‘slave’ than daughter

Update 2:

Also, to add.. today my two year old daughter peed herself (she’s being toilet trained). He went upto her, pointed the finger and said “if you don’t go to the toilet, I will slap you!” Shes 2! I was so angry he said that. Like, no normal person says that to a 2 year old? (And it made me question how messed up my upbringing was and from what age?) Anyways, just thought to add to reveal its not always money related.

Update 3:

Last update: definitely don’t live with him. Just visit, to see my mother. I don’t believe he is serious with his threats against my 2 year old (I could be wrong), but he does get off in making people fear him. If he did ever lay a hand on my kids, both my husband and myself will act accordingly. 

5 Answers

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  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    i would ask your doctor about it

  • 2 months ago

    Personality disorders cannot be accurately assessed here. You would need to consult a trained , licensed psychotherapist. Or, you can go to the DSM, (Diagnostic Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders), on line, and consider the symptoms yourself. 

    You should inform  your father that if he ever lays a hand on your child, you will report him and press charges. Would you? I hope so !

    Where are you living? If its in the same household as your father, I'd get out of there, regardless of the price you would have to pay.

    Good luck.

  • 2 months ago

    Greed. Greed. Greed.

  • Kelley
    Lv 5
    2 months ago

    Your dad worships money

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  • g
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    One incident doesnt provide enough information for determining a personality disorder. He could be several things - or none at all.

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