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Lv 5

Was I wrong to change my legal will, after I got married?

My husband and I got mirror wills. I removed my stepsister out. My father's wife got upset that I changed my will to a mirror will with my husband. The reason I made out a will so young in the first place, was because I have a dangerous job with search & rescue. 

But now that my life has changed so has my will. Making these changes has now angered my father's wife to the point where if I don't put my will back, I will never see my father again.

I want to continue a relationship with my father, but I refuse to change my will back. This situation has saddened me and I need to know what to do. I have been accused of disinheriting my stepsister.

Update:

@ T J, I didn't tell them, my stepsis came over to use my computer, because hers isn't working. I caught her going through my stuff & one of the items was my will. Words were exchanged, then she left my home in tears. Now my father told me to sort it out so there will be peace in the family or the family can't go forward. He wasn't as angry, but his wife went through the roof. I thought of getting my stepsister a little something like a jewelry box, & will it to her. 

8 Answers

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  • 1 month ago

    Your stepsister is no longer your nearest next of kin now you are married. Expecting money from your death seems somewhat avaristic on her part and that of her mother's. Even more so when you are threatened with not being able to see your own father unless you change your will back to include her. 

    She is NOT "entitled" to anything of yours. So do as you feel you need to. 

  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    This isn't meant as an insult against your line of work, but if you're in search & rescue you're not earning CEO levels of pay so unless you're sitting on some multi million dollar trust fund this situation can't possibly be about money. Sounds like it's just more about your stepmother trying to force everyone to accept her marriage to your father as real and important. Your having her child from before the marriage in her will gave her a greater sense of security in her marriage to your father. You don't have to change your will back, but maybe understanding where your stepmom is coming from emotionally will help. If you can convey to her that your changing your will wasn't a rejection of your stepsister she'll calm down. 

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    This is ridiculous.  You may be young, but you're a married woman who has every right to decide what should be in her will.  You also have a right to expect privacy when you lend your comp to someone.  Is anyone upset she went through your private documents?  

    Your dad is probably trying to keep peace with his wife, but this doesn't make him innocent.  I remember going through this as a young adult with my dad and stepmom, and the truth is, he is way out of line here.  Clearly, your stepmom is a maniac.

    If I were you, I would call Dad's bluff, especially if all of this is somewhat new.  For one thing, part of this is to protect your husband.  HE is your new family now, and he comes first.  The other part is setting adult boundaries and teaching your dad how to treat you.  Tell him your privacy was invaded, and you're a grown woman who gets to write her own damn will.  It's not on YOU to fix family dynamics, because you are the victim here, not the perp.  I wish someone had given me this advice when I was young with a dad trying too hard to keep his wife happy.  Also, do NOT get a music box as a consolation prize.  Your stepsister is an entitled brat, and when you give someone like this an inch, they will take a mile.  You want to shut all this down politely, but very very firmly.

  • 1 month ago

    So you made the mistake of TELLING people what was in your will. And then you made the mistake of TELLING people when you changed your will. That's the ONLY thing you did wrong. Not your action. Your will is entirely your own business. The problem came from TELLING EVERYONE about your own very private business. SO that was an "over share". Do you "over share" in other ways as well? Why does your Stepmom think that your will is any of her business in the first place? Over sharing is on you. That's a lesson to learn from. Kiss your StepMom on the head and tell her to get over it. Meet your Dad for lunch twice a week and keep your private business, and your private business with your husband, to yourself! 

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  • ?
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    How very, very interesting in light of your OTHER question.  I'd suggest that you seek mental health therapy, the sooner, the better.

    I have long realized that you have a desperate need for attention, but, sadly, you aren't smart enough to troll for that attention.  Same writing style, same user name, same note of desperation.  You very much remind me of someone who very recent went anonymous.  "I inherited my husband's kids from his first marriage their dad passed away, now I want to start a new life can I put them into foster care ?"

    By the way, what's the difference between a legal Will and an illegal Will?

    I find you to be sad and, actually, pathetic.

  • 1 month ago

    No. It's your will and they don't get a say in it whatsoever.

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    i dont think so

  • ?
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    Why the heck did you tell them anything about your will?  Your stepsister has no rights to your property. The will should leave everything to your husband.

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