Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Food & DrinkOther - Food & Drink · 2 months ago

Anyone else do this?

Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels.

Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.

I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.

Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.

When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."

There can be only one.

4 Answers

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  • denise
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    The longer it takes, the longer I have to wait to eat them,  No thanks! 

  • ?
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Old meme is old

  • kswck2
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Again? U have Way too much time on your hands. 

  • 2 months ago

    First, you have a bit too much time on your hands (at least there is no melted chocolate)

    Second, Do you find that once stressed the "superior" of the two in your duel becomes weaker and looses in the next round or so?

    Third, I am sure your M&M's that are returned for breeding purposes never get to fulfill their destiny. I am sure they are discarded in the days trash.

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