Anonymous asked in Society & CultureHolidaysChristmas · 2 months ago

So Christmas ?

So my boyfriend and I are celebrating our first christmas together. He drives for a company and he wants to pick up some extra runs Christmas Eve and Christmas day . The only way we would get to spend it together is if I don't work Christmas Eve I only work like 2 hours on Christmas, I am a caregiver I would go with him if I don't work those days. Am I selfish for not wanting him to go away on the holiday? I wanted us to spend it together. I haven't mentioned it to him yet. I just it makes me sad. Sometimes I feel like all that's important to him and his mother is him and I am just a tool to get him where he needs to go.  No real consideration for my happiness or needs . I know he tries but idk Christmas is important to me. It just makes me sad if I have to spend it alone.

4 Answers

  • drip
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Tool to get him where he needs to go???  Is that literal? Do you drive him everywhere? And what does his mother have to do with this?

    If you are feeling you are being used and that he shows no consideration to you, why the heck are you still with him?   How he is treating you and work hours are not the same problem.

    Plenty of people work Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.    You are not selfish to ask him not to work. But it could mean time and half on money. Do you both need the money, then work your shifts.

    You can always  celebrate early or later. It doesn’t have to be on the 25th. 

  • donnie
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    You’re not selfish but you have to remember that you can’t control someone else and trying to would probably just cause drama. 

  • 2 months ago

    Go with him on his runs if you can.  Don't act childish.  At least he has a good work ethic and wants to make some money.  That's a good trait in a partner.  You don't want to end up supporting him.  Be a good sport.  But wear a mask and use other precautions so you don't get Covid. 

    P.S.  And try to get along with his mom. 

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    if you are a caregiver, you shouldn't be seeing anyone because of covid... please be safe about this. 

    selfish for having a job and having to work those days?? no. 

    i also want to spend stupid christmas with my boyfriend, but i can't. i also couldn't spend thanksgiving with him. so fck it. and yes, i also ate alone. 

    now where is this talk where you're just a tool to him? let him go see his mom then. hope he doesn't give her covid...  i understand this is your "first christmas" but we all have to postpone celebrations anyways. it's a sad world we live in. i am also bitter.

    many people are spending christmas alone. even i am. it is sad. i've been sad for a very very long time. nothing we can do about it. 

    if you truly feel like he has no consideration for you or your happiness/needs, please tell him that. don't be a doormat. you're pretty new to this relationship it seems and if you don't speak up he'll think it's okay. and in the coming years he'll remember you not speaking up and think it's okay to keep doing it and doing it. don't get yourself into that cycle like i have. 

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