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? asked in Education & ReferenceWords & Wordplay · 2 months ago

Are these lines grammatically correct?

“Though, Kotter (2014) specifies that Strong cultures are related with acceptable performance as market- oriented culture is inserted in the organization's statement of purpose. Additionally, he exhorts that solid culture can undoubtedly get presumptuous, internal centered, and bureaucratic in this way subverting economic performance and rolling out key improvement difficult to implement."(Kotter, 2014).

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  • 2 months ago

    You are very close, this just needs a bit of a touch up.

    “Though, Kotter (2014) specifies that strong cultures are related to acceptable performance, as a market- oriented culture is inserted in the organization's statement of purpose. Additionally, he exhorts that solid culture can undoubtedly get presumptuous, internally centered, and bureaucratic, and in this way subverting economic performance and rolling out key improvements, making them difficult to implement."(Kotter, 2014).

  • 2 months ago

    No, it reads like randomly chosen "big" words stuffed into sentences. I can't even tell what you're trying to say. Think about how you'd explain this idea to a friend, then write it down that way. Then pollish it into academic English.

    Just to being with, "though" is too informal for an academic paper. If you start with "Although", you need another main clause, as clauses with "although" are dependent. You currently have

    Dependent clause-   although. Kotter (subject) specifies (verb)

    Dependent clause- that strong cultures (subject) are related TO (verb)

    Dependent clause- as market-oriented culture (subject) is inserted (verb)

    You have no independent clause in that sentence. 

    Also, I don't know what you mean about inserting culture into a statement of purpose? Do you mean that the statement of purpose reflects the organizations committment to a market-oriented culture? 

  • 2 months ago

    No, it needs work.

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