What is the word for changing the way you act between your family vs how you act alongside friends?
I know when it comes to speaking different languages, this is called code-switching, but a lot of people can for example be extremely argumentative with their family, but desperate to be well liked alongside friends or people they don't meet that often. Does this have a descriptive word?
- charlatanLv 72 months ago
- ?Lv 72 months ago
We all have different ways of addressing family, friends, people we don't know well, superiors, etc. It's usually known as levels of politeness and formality.You might say, "Hey, Flathead" to your brother (affectionately, of course), Hey, what's up?" to a friend, and "Hello. How are you?" to your teacher or boss. One of the keys to success in life is making the right communication choices with the right person. What you're talking about is something different, though. It's the dynamics of interpersonal interactions. Many of us know that even as adults, when we go home, we lapse back into interacting with our parents as if we were still children. And we choose different ways of interacting with people based on what we know they like. There's nothing phony or two-faced about that. For example, I have French friends who love to argue about politics and other topics and it can become loud, with no ill feelings. Americans who have seen us doing that don't understand and think we're really mad at each other. I would never try to argue that way with people who don't do it themselves. If you have a friend who likes to talk about sports, you can talk about sports with that person if you want to. If you have another friend with no interest in sports, I assume you wouldn't go blathering on about sports with them just because you do that with another person.
- ?Lv 52 months ago
“Two-faced” is one descriptor. “Phony” is an aggressive word for it. You’re really describing a “people pleaser,” who is someone that wants others to like them so badly that they compromise who they are.
Personally, I view it as a “public persona” vs private self. In any case, one (or both) are inauthentic expressions of who you are.
The opposite of what your describing is “integrity,” and that’s a virtue worth having.