Kathy
Lv 5
Kathy asked in Pregnancy & ParentingParenting · 2 months ago

Do parents help their children see the other side when they complain about another person?

or do they support their children?

Update:

For example, if one were to tell her mom how a classmate is damaging her reputation at school by telling everyone a bad thing she does, would the mom tell her daughter that she's bothering that classmate of hers or would the mom comfort her daughter & maybe even try telling the school about this classmate?

Update 2:

Another example, if a teen were to tell his mom how his uncle invaded his privacy, should the mom just tell him that he was just seeing if he was ok or should the mom say that she was sorry that his uncle interfered with his right to be alone?

5 Answers

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  • 2 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    Yes, both. When a person is upset (kid or adult) and that upset is directed toward another person and their actions or words towards them, that is not the time to ask them to take another perspective. So, when my child is escalated and ranting angrily at his cousin being verbally abusive... I validate his anger. Then, when he's calmed down and is able to use his prefrontal cortex, then we discuss perspective taking. I may ask him to think about the last time we overheard cousin's dad screaming at him and ask him if the words were similar to the words his cousin said to him. We talk about how it's hard to act kindly when we feel badly... it's not an excuse to be abusive, but it can help him make sense of what his cousin is thinking and reacting to.... we do a lot of social/emotional skills in our home because of my son's own social, behavioral, and developmental disorders. 

  • 2 months ago

    Some do, some don't. Do you really think all parents are exactly the same?

  • helene
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    It depends ENTIRELY on the situation. Who is right and who is wrong.

    In the first situation, the classmate is telling the truth about something, and my daughter is just going to have to deal. 

    In this second situation, you are as vague as you can possibly be. Why should I apologize for something the uncle did? What "right to be alone?" What did the uncle actually DO?

    Seems you just want your feelings to be everybody's prime consideration. Why do you feel entitled to that?

  • ?
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    A smart parent would teach the children to look at all angles.  Today's parents tend to prop their children up no matter what the incident and teaches them to be self centered and lazy.  Look around, they are everywhere.

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  • 2 months ago

    Very much depends on the parent.  And the two thoughts are not mutually exclusive.  One can support the child while also enlightening them.

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