What piece of the confidence puzzle am I missing?
I'm the type of person that has highs and lows, although my lows seem to occupy most of my time. As soon as I listen to a speech that makes me believe it might be possible to improve my self-esteem, my confidence spirals dramatically. But, when I wake up the next morning, it's the same routine all over again.
Dieting and working out does make me feel accomplished and pretty. But, when my family is eating something unhealthy or our money is tight, I feel like this is how it's always going to be. I eat too much of something healthy or I eat one bite of something unhealthy, feel guilty, and eat more.
I don't consider myself to be obese, but, I definitely need to get in shape and be harder on myself.
And then there's my personality.
I've always been a push-over, but, I feel like as I've gotten older I've become more aware and self-conscious of it.
My social-interactions have also become somewhat of a routine. I hate meeting new people because I know I'm never myself around them. I hate being around people I admire because I always feel like I'm going to lose them.
My best friend is one of those people.
And I hate being around my family most days because I feel like they're one of the main causes of my low self-esteem.
My mother has straight-out called me schizophrenic (which I'm not). My older brother, on a daily basis, calls me a fat-***, a *****, and a child. And my younger brother has never respected me and agrees with me every time I say something bad about myself.
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