Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingParenting · 2 months ago

Daughter feeling down about her looks. What can I do to make her feel better?

My friend and her husband are both really attractive and have 5 kids who are all beautiful. In particular, her youngest son and middle daughter could definitely model; they are stunning. My husband and I are average, and we have two daughters who I'd consider pretty.. maybe not as notably gorgeous and conventionally attractive, but still cute and beautiful. I do not wear any makeup (no interest) and I've NEVER made a big deal about looks. Same with my friend. She would never put her kids in modeling. We've raised our kids to be kind, generous, and smart.  

Last year, my friend and I were at the mall with my two daughters and her middle daughter, I'll call F (age 15). F has red hair, aquamarine eyes, and beautiful facial features. TWO times that day she got complimented for her looks. One was in the earring shop and the other was in Hollister at the check out. The lady was quick to say that my daughters were pretty, too, but now one of my daughters keeps bringing that moment up when she complains that she's ugly.  

She asks why she never gets complimented by her looks? As a parent I've tried saying 'you're pretty' (she is) and looks aren't everything, but I'm just curious what else I can say that's honest but makes her feel better.? Anyone been here?

(I'm not jealous of my friend. I just think it's shallow that people focus on looks more than they should. It makes me sad that a stranger would compliment only 1 out of 3 girls. People need to be more aware.)

3 Answers

  • Archer
    Lv 7
    2 weeks ago

    Self esteem is often based in emotion and not in reality. Skinny kids think they are fat. We are not taught to look for self esteem and self worth within ourselves as we should but to seek it from others as it gives "them" the power. If one find such within then it empowers the individual. Not what society today want's now is it!

  • R R
    Lv 4
    2 months ago

    All girls have self confidence issues, as a matter of fact all teens have self confidence issues.  Its a phase and will pass.  You should support your daughters and let them know that there are guys out there like me that look for whats inside, not as much what is outside.

  • 2 months ago

    That's a tough one. I had a friend who was blonde, blue eyed, perfect nose, etc. she was stunning. Strangers would ask to take photos of her and ignore me, when I got a. boyfriend and they saw her, they wanted her instead of me, an average brunette with dark eyes.

    I just had to live with the fact she was prettier than I was, but it wasn't easy. Funny thing was she married and ended up unhappy and divorced, so being beautiful doesn't mean you will end up happy.

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.