I can’t get pregnant my husband wants a divorce I’m devastated feel like a failure ?

Question

I’m 32 years old my husband and I have been trying to have children for 4 years. We even paid a TON of money last year for IVF and I ended up miscarrying. Not being able to get pregnant has put a tremendous strain on our marriage. This morning my husband told me he wanted a divorce because I couldn’t have kids and he “isn’t getting any younger.” those were his exact words. I’m devastated and feel like a complete failure as a human being. I want children so bad and we’ve tried for 4 years I’ve had 3 miscarriages in the past 4 years. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want a divorce I’ve been crying since this morning. I asked about adoption but he said adoption is raising someone else’s child and he won’t do that. Please help!!! I don’t know what to do!!! 

Answer 1

Favorite Answer

I think you probably do know what to do, and you're crying because you really don't want to do it.

Let him go. His love for you, and the entire marriage, is dependent on you being a successful baby maker, not on who you are and how you two are together. That right there is a deal breaker and cannot be fixed by love.

Try really hard to be decent to one another during divorce proceedings, but get in touch with a divorce attorney this coming week. Start separating your things from his, deciding how to share necessities,find the old bills for things you bought together so one of you can buy the other's interest in it (i.e., he takes the $500 TV but gives you $250 for your half), and the other basic mechanics of living apart.

I'm so sorry, but I think by this time next year, you'll see it was the right decision.

Answer 2

Girl, I don't want to break your heart like this but...you have to go through the divorce. If he isn't satisfied the fact that you would go through adoption to have children and he doesn't accept it? He has to go. I grasped that you both wanted children but why sacrifice yourself to respect his decision but he can't do the same for you.

Answer 3

Well, I'm 66 y/o. I been watching for years. I seen other people at work. They get married then divorced. After that people at work gets treated as a second rate human being. Gets no promotion. Does the same work for years and years.

Even though you wanted to have kids. Your husband follows through with divorce proceedings he will not get no promotions no matter how good he gets.  

Answer 4

FVCK him! Divorce the donor of dead sperm and find a real man. 

Answer 5

Even though you picked a favorite answer and it was the best advice I just want to add that he does not love you. If he did he would not be acting the way that he is. Plus it is NOT always the womans fault. Many times the mans sperm is at fault. Good luck to you. Hang in there and change your perspective. It's not you that is a failure, it is him, because he does not know what true love is!!

Answer 6

Drop him immediately. 

Answer 7

i dont know what you are going through and i hope i never will but i see the same problem with my brother.

there is an answer to your problem and its quiet simple:    

adoption.         

just make sure you adopt them as young as possible because i know of someone who adopted a child that came from violent family and that kid became violent himself. if he was adopted as a baby, there would be any problems.

Answer 8

Seek marriage enrichmant support

Marriage is precious and worth working on

Answer 9

i wish i never marry a husband like urs

bro be strong

he was supposed to marry u cause he loved ya not cause he loved children

geeeeez i wish i could burn all husbands like this down

just stay strong gurl if he actually gets a divorse stay strong god is there 4 ya

Answer 10

Give him the divorce.

It hurts now, but it'll hurt longer if you don't.

Answer 11

How callous can a man get. It's all about him. You're better off without him. Females donate eggs for women in your circumstance. If that's not possible, a donor egg and surrogate is possible, but I suppose he's not interested in doing that either, even though he'd be the father.