Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Education & ReferenceStandards & Testing · 2 months ago

How does this review sound to you?

“Excellent Ocharleys in Lynchburg!! I asked for my burger without spicy cheese. It came out with spicy cheese anyway but it was still delicious! The waiter Janson, is a really great waiter. Janson was nice, respectful and professional! I liked Janson! Janson, Thanks for being a cool cat and giving me such great service! Best wishes in your future endeavors! 

There was a issue with an electronic gift card I was sent by Ocharleys corporate. For some reason, the card wouldn’t work. The manager, Brittany, and another manager, Travis, got involved and they couldn’t pull up the card’s use history and couldn’t even tell if the card exists. They said it may not have been activated. I showed them the emails from Ocharleys corporate and I pressed the activation button on the screen and they still couldn’t pull up the card. We couldn’t figure out what was wrong with the card. Brittany did a great job handling the situation. She added a discount equal to the amount of the gift card along with another discount because my burger was served to me with the spicy cheese when I didn’t want it on there.”

Update:

Is it perfectly understandable? Any mistakes?

2 Answers

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  • 2 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    This is a nice, positive review, but way too wordy. 

    You could try:

    “Excellent job from O'charley's in Lynchburg!! I asked for no spicy cheese, got it anyways but found my burger was still delicious! The waiter Janson, was a great waiter; nice, respectful and professional! Janson~ thanks for being a cool cat and giving me such great service! Best wishes in your future endeavors!

    There was an issue with an electronic gift card I was sent by O'charley's corporate. For some reason, the card wouldn’t work. Brittany, the manager, did a great job handling the situation. She added a discount equal to the amount of the gift card along with another discount because my burger was served to me incorrectly.

    Way to go O'charley's. 

  • 2 months ago

    very poor, and too wordy.

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