Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 2 months ago

Girlfriend is upset over computer/engagment?

My girlfriend is really upset I bought a gaming computer for just under $1500. 

It was a really killer deal, but I got payments, and in the mean time we were trying to save up for a better place. 

She also bought a car, and now has a car payment. (Our one kept breaking down)

She been waiting to get engaged, and kind of got in her head it's never going to happen. She didn't tell me no, but she broke down crying. I feel like crap! What to I do?  

Her friend said if I get her a cheap Wal-Mart ring for $150 I am a pos. I bought a computer for myself and I yet to step up for her. If she ends up getting her own she will tell her to leave me, and she will go out of her way to get to break up with me. What do I do?

4 Answers

  • T J
    Lv 6
    2 months ago

    You both bought things. You both need to learn financial responsibilities or you both will not have a damn thing in life. The last thing you need is her friend adding to your real problem. Neither of you are ready for a engagement, let alone a marriage.BTW, there is nothing wrong with a wal mart ring.  Jewelry stores charge  you double of the actual worth of a ring. Try and sell it back to them, and you will not get anything near what you paid.

  • 2 months ago

    She's been waiting to get engaged and she's buying a reliable car so you two can work? go to school? get groceries? and meanwhile you're buying a "gaming" computer. I mean, it would be one thing if you were buying a computer because you were working from home and needed it to do your job but you said yourself that it's for games. 

    You are making "payments" on the computer, so why not buy a ring and make payments on that?  If you can't afford it, that's why she's crying. You had a limited amount of money and you chose to spend it on yourself, not on her or on your partnership. That shows her what you truly value. 

    You need to show her - by your actions - not just tell her with words - that you love her, value her, appreciate her, and want to marry her. Assuming you do. Maybe use that computer to learn programming or get a part-time job or sell some stuff on eBay or something and make some extra money and get her a ring?

  • 2 months ago

    This seriously reads like none of you are old enough to think about getting married. Her friend is involved? That's nonsense. How long has your gf been "waiting to get engaged"?  You don't sound particularly eager to do so. If you don't want to, don't do it. 

  • ?
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Money disagreements are among the most frequent causes of marital problems . And you two are not anywhere near to being married, yet.  So this is a red flag that does not bode well for the future.  You already have differences of opinion on how to manage your finances , what to spend on, or not, so how do you think you two would do when you are permanently tied together?  

       Right now, you each have your own money. But when you marry, it becomes community property and whatever you decide to spend (or not) affects both of you.

       So, I advise you to try and work out a mutually agreeable way of spending beforehand. And if you can't, either one or both of you just aren't ready to marry, or at least, not to each other.

       I don't know what a "pos" is, but from my perspective, buying a fifteen hundred dollar "toy", vs. an affordable but desirable engagement ring says it all. It says that you are still in the young man/boy stage, not ready for anyone.  

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