? asked in Arts & HumanitiesPoetry · 2 months ago

Comment on my poem?

Maniacal laughter with his face

In the shotgun shells

Always within close reach

Sit up and check her text

10 bucks if you speak

Across the street

They pull up to see

To see the lights go out

Pupils die late and adjust

Pump action cross both shoulders

We strecth in with the beat

As the wind begins to howl

7 Answers

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  • This makes very little sense without like ten readings, no offense.  It was, indeed, intense. You did a good job with that.   Don't kill her. There are plenty of fish in the sea.  

  • 1 month ago

    This is good ****

  • 2 months ago

    Learn to breathe in love and compassion, then exhale your anger into air and watch it float away...

  • 2 months ago

    I don't appreciate hate speech being passed off as poetry.

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  • 2 months ago

    I don't like it. It's heartless.

  • Tina
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    I really doesn't make much sense. In what way is it a poem?

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    Confusing...

    I had to read it twice to understand.

    My thought's interfered with your reality first and I misunderstood the real message.

    And it's still confusing.....

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