Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 2 months ago

How can I resolve this issue ?

My child was in speech therapy until 3 years old, they had NO concerns with her development when it ended. But then I started to feel lost in my identity as I felt that I lost who I was and was only a mom for these last few years with very, very minimal help. My husband is gone nearly 3/4ths of the year and my family is rarely available. I am still nursing my soon to be 4 year old. I am homeschooling her as well. I spent so much time focusing my all on her and not getting breaks to the point I started breaking down when my husband comes home and I still can barely get a break. Going to the grocery store alone for a single item all by myself is just like the most amazing thing to me now. I eventually became very selfish and started putting all my attention on myself to try to refind myself and I feel it has impacted my daughters sanity now. She acts differently and it kills me inside. She has been repeating everything over and over and over and now I get so impatient and enraged with her. I don't know how to resolve this issue. She will say things such as "it's bright/dark outside" I mean like 10+ times in a row no matter how much I acknowledge her and communicate back to her. I feel the time I took to focus on myself made her feel so unheard that she just doesn't realize I am hearing her now. She also is very emotionally sensitive and if I correct her nicely even she breaks down crying and repeating "it's okay it's okay it's okay" ..

Update:

..and what makes it worse is my husbands job keeps him away 6-8 weeks straight at a time so when he is finally home he wants to be unbothered and just do nothing and I'm dying for a breather and I feel he gets angry and mean to her when he has to be the one to tend to her so that hurts me even more cause I then feel like I have NO hope for a chance to breathe here. I just want my baby to be happy and feel loved but it is so hard to keep my composure when she starts repeating. I can't stop it.   

Update 2:

Issue trying to resolve: How to stop my child's obsessive repeating.

Update 3:

@carmen. Her speech therapist and special instructor she used to see had no concerns with her. She was screened for autism and they determined she didn't have it. 

@white clouds. Good suggestions but fyi, I don't own an iPad or tablet of any form nor have I ever and I also am extremely low maintenance, I don't care about my 'appearance' like that. Haven't worn make up in several years and I don't do anything with my hair but wash and dry it lol 

6 Answers

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  • 2 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    This isn't your fault. You did the best you could. Anyone who walked in your shoes would have struggled as well. Send your child to a therapist or see a family therapist to figure out what's going on and help her break some of these patterns. Many children work their way out of these patterns, and there are certainly approaches with both therapy and even meds. Focus on your child's strengths, while getting her help. There's a good chance, she'll be fine. 

  • ?
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    You need to find someone to talk to. Maybe even just an online parenting board would help you put things into perspective. Parental burnout is certainly real, especially when you're homeschooling. But going 180 degrees in the opposite direction isn't good either. You need to talk to other moms to find ways to be there for your kid but also to take a few minutes for yourself once in a while. 

  • Carmen
    Lv 5
    2 months ago

    Hello concerned parent it's definitely understanding how all you have mentioned is stressful and brings on anxiety uncertainty and much more. Is your daughter been diagnosed with autism or something else by chance along with her speech therapy issues? Being so young still and acting out in the manner you mentioned as why I asked as well the nursing still at her age. It's understandable how much stress you are under with your husband away as well without any me time or help from others. Everyone deserves and needs some time for themselves especially a parent. Don't beat yourself up just reach out if applicable and get the answers you need to help your daughter and even ask a social worker at a hospital or clinic for advice for daycare facilities or programs that might be able to help you in anyway possible physically emotionally mentally to keep it together. As far as the situation with you and your husband pray over that as well because it's just as stressful to have to be away from family that long just to try to pay the bills. Take some deep breaths whenever possible try to keep a calm heart. I hope everything works out positive for you and your family. 

  • 2 months ago

    You need to have more interest in your life. Get out the door and go to a park and let your little daughter play. Go for a coffee and get her a little hot chocolate or something else.  Go to an indoor play park with her and let her play and interact with other children. Go to the library and get children’s books. Read them and spend time with her singing songs and throwing a ball. You are overthinking everything and putting to much emphasis on your personal appearance and probably your iPad. Change your routine and think of what matters most and you will be much happier and content. https://www.jw.org/en/bible-teachings/family/

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    Your child clearly has some issues. It sounds like something more than a speech disorder. I think it might be a good idea to take her to a child psychologist or someone who can help her. You can try asking about the early intervention program. The earlier you get her the proper therapy, the better off she’ll be. This isn’t your fault. She needs professional help. She may have OCD or some other mental or emotional disorder. She needs the kind of help you cannot provide. 

  • 2 months ago

    Which issue are you specifically trying to resolve?

    The repeating? Okay; have you spoken with her therapist or developmental psychologist about this? What are they recommending?

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