I’m a closeted lesbian and I want to come out sometime soon, but I know my family.  won't accept me.?

I’m lesbian, and I want to come out to my family (sometime soon), but I know they won’t accept me. At least, my mom won’t.

My mom has hinted that she doesn’t support LGBTQ+ by saying:

1. When I picked up a rainbow mask and said, “Oh, this is nice, can I get it?” she cringed and said, “Not rainbow. It represents something...not so good.”

2. When I turned on a drag show once, she snapped, “Turn that off RIGHT NOW.”

3. She said, “One of the characters in Harry Potter is...g....aaAaAaAaAY.y.y.y.y.y.y.” *GaG*

4. I like to wear boyish clothes, and once she said, “Where has your sense of style gone? You’re a girl, and you should act like one. Go change.”

5. I pick up a flannel shirt from the boys’ aisle at a store (more on the clothes stuff) and my mom saw. She whispered loudly, “Go put that back this instant. That’s a BOY’S shirt.”

As for my dad, I haven’t really noticed much, but I still don’t think he’ll accept me.

I’ll probably come out over text in a couple years because it could be dangerous if I came out, say, at the dinner table.


My mom said some more things about LGBTQ+ saying she didn’t accept it. I forgot to add them.

9 Answers

  • rhonda
    Lv 4
    2 months ago

    I came back from university with my gf eventually after dating her for 3 years and introduced her to my parents and told them that we were living together as a couple as I had been scared I tell them.

    My dad just laughed and said thanks for telling eventually telling us.My mom just cried and then said it did not surprise her as she could not understand why I never dated boys at school.

  • 2 months ago

    I would just bite the bullet and tell them. If they love you, they will accept you. 

  • reme_1
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    It all depends on your age. Can you move out on your own? Can you live with another relative. You need to make some plans on hiw to handle this if your mom goes ballistic. Call the LGBT center for support. Start meeting people specially adults who are out. You might need a place to stay if you mom over reacts. Safety is the thing. But you need to fet strong inside before you come out. Contact PFLAG.org- a wonderful support group made up mostly of parents of LGBT kids. Do everything you can ti take care of YOU. HUGS from a boomer lesbian

  • Audrey
    Lv 6
    2 months ago

    You already know they will never accept you, so why not keep it to yourself around them. Being without family is very lonesome 

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    Oh my so many rude answers. I think you need not to worry about your parents will say or think you really can’t help what gender you like and if your mother loves you she will accept that because that is your happiness. You won’t be happy with a guy. I think it’ll be hard at first for your mom to accept it but eventually she will move on. Maybe not at the dinner table, maybe send her a text or write a note to her. Best of luck 🤞 

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    then don't. just live your life. they'll figure it out sooner or later. 

  • 2 months ago

    That certainly does sound like it's going to be difficult, but I'm sure you'll handle it well. Did you have a question, or were you just telling us stuff for the hell of it?

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    Be on your own and paying your own bills first. You risk being forced into conversion therapy, bullying or being kicked out. Also have a support network of lgbt and allies you can go to. You need to create a new family. And don’t tell some people in your family but not your mom. You can’t expect a secret like that to be kept. 

    If you are on your own - just do it as long as you’ve prepared your self. 

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    Do you not understand the concept of a question?

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