Anonymous asked in Society & CultureEtiquette · 2 months ago

How would you feel about someone  suggesting how you should dress?

I frequent  a sports bar regularly.

Nothing fancy, just a hole in the wall hangout amongst locals. 

My apparel consists  of a tank top 95% of the time , on a daily basis when out and about around town conducting both business and  pleasure .

Several times  prior to stopping in tonight , I wore tank tops and shorts at his bar .

During tonight's  visit , I wore a tshirt.

The owner was on duty tonight. Working behind the bar , he served me , but as he did , I felt  the comment he made about my apparel  was inappropriate. 

He says to me " Thank you for wearing  an actual  full  shirt for once. I appreciate it!"

I felt as if he suggested  or insinuated what I should or should not wear inside of his establishment. 

Its legitimate  to enforce  such a dress  policy, as he has every right. 

But nowhere  is there signage  or an actual written policy  in his bar , stating  this.

I felt " singled  out " if you will ... 

Also please note : This particular  bar owner has upset other longtime/avid patrons to the point they no longer returned  or ever stepped foot back in that door .

23 Answers

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    i wouldve told him to mind his own business

  • 2 months ago

    that they care about you...  do not take it personal...

  • East
    Lv 4
    2 months ago

    I would dress better than that but I would also go where my business is appreciated, not where I receive snarky comments.

    I wouldn't go back, but I would dress better, and go elsewhere.

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

     I'd quickly leave & advise anyone from going there zxjwpk

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    He could have told you at the door AND NOT LET YOU IN.  His choice and he was being tactful.  It is up to you to CLUE IN.

  • ?
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    I might feel embarrassed as I realized I"d been dressing "wrong" for that place and done it many times.

    Or I might feel hard headed and not want to change just because the guy said that to me. 

    Either way, I wouldn't get any good feeling from it, and would have one or the other unpleasant feeling when going there after this. So I'd probably stop frequenting the place. 

  • garry
    Lv 5
    2 months ago

    feels like walking around in my trunks , shoves it up them ... why how we supposed to dress , like you say

  • 2 months ago

    He never said you broke any rules, he just showed appreciation that you were more covered up than with a tank.  

    You may not understand how some men, especially when they have been drinking, sexualize something like a tank top that is figure hugging and shows some skin.  I'm not saying that's right, just that's what the owner knows to be true.  

    Who knows what those guys say about you behind your back?  The owner knows, and he has to deal with them.  He's was just politely dropping a hint to you.  Of course you can wear what you want, but you should be aware of how it affects some people.  But you may not even care about that.

  • ?
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    You haven't told us a word about how other customers dress.

    Your point appears to be that the bar owner is rude to everyone so why are you obsessing about your clothes?

  • 2 months ago

    I think I would be surprised there was any sort of dress code expectation, but I would not have been bothered by his passive aggressive comment, I would have just blown it off.  Plus he didn't really single you out because he did serve you no differently than you have ever been served nor threatened he wouldn't in the future.

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