Got major promotion at work: OK to ask relatives not to tell my parents at Thanksgiving?

Question

I was recently promoted in my job to Chief Financial Officer of my company.  My pay doubled and I was given an ownership stake in the business.  One of my relatives saw the newspaper article about it and congratulated me.

I’ve learned to tell my parents absolutely nothing about my life.  If I tell them anything, they’ll email me every five minutes, indicating that they think I’ll fail at whatever, and giving me bad unsolicited advice.  

For example, they when I bought a new house (before the promotion), they told me that I couldn’t afford it.  When they saw a news article about CEOs in my city who were jailed for fraud, they asked me if those were my clients. Etc.

So I don’t want my parents to know about my promotion.  We and the relative who knows are having a Zoom Thanksgiving dinner.  

OK to ask my relative, before Thanksgiving dinner, not to mention my promotion?

Thanks.

Answer 1

Favorite Answer

I don't ever ask people to lie for me, but if you can just not bring up your job or change the subject quickly you can avoid your relative making any mention of it. 

Answer 2

Of course you can if telling your parents will make you feel uncomfortable. Adults have the right to decide what to do. But more importantly, you and your parents should communicate and learn to make each other comfortable.

Answer 3

Of course, its okay, I hope your relative honors your request. You don't even have to explain why, just ask for what you want. I'm glad you are among those who are sensible enough to avoid an in person thanksgiving gathering,unlike so many other fools who are endangering themselves and others. 

Answer 4

According to Ben Franklin, three people can keep a secret if two are dead. The secret will get out. You might as well tell mom and dad on your own, because it's going to be awkward WHEN (not if) they find out from somebody other than you.

One more point: I agree with Art, who also answered this question, that you're putting your relatives in a terrible spot by asking them to keep your secret for you. You could potentially ruin whatever enjoyment they might have had by making your 'secret' the centerpiece of the holiday celebration.

They are not and should not be under any obligation to keep your secret for you. You surrendered whatever 'right' you have to that information when you shared it with someone else.

The cat is out of the bag. Let your relatives off the hook.

Why are you hiding something like this from your parents, anyway?

Answer 5

Your mom already knows. She posted about it on here about two weeks ago, complaining about how you got this big promotion and didn’t tell her. Or maybe you’re the same troll....

Answer 6

Sure, if you don’t want them to know, that’s your right! Just explain to the relatives that you would like to keep it private right now. 

Answer 7

thats not fair on your realitives - they wont be able to relax in case they accidentally mention the promotion

Answer 8

So just confirming, you're both a grown up and now CFO of a company (congratulations), but can't tell mommy and daddy to f uck off?  Seriously?  Grow a pair.