Anonymous asked in Social SciencePsychology · 2 months ago

Am I horrible for feeling grateful that I was there when my mom died?

I loved my mom more than anyone else in the world. I hate that she's gone, and I struggle with it every day. Losing her was the most horrible thing that has ever happened to me. When she died, I was there with her. I was sitting right beside her, holding her, when she died. The moment it happened, it really felt like the world just didn't make sense anymore. How could someone who had always been there just suddenly not be there anymore? It was the worst feeling I've ever had. 

And yet, when I think back on it, I'm glad I was there. I feel like I needed to be there. For both of us. And people I've talked to, who have been there when someone they loved died all say that they wish they weren't. That seeing them die was terrible for them. And, it's not that I was happy to see her die. I hated it. I even had a mental breakdown because of it, and had to go to the hospital. But I don't regret being there. There's something comforting about it, and I honestly don't even know why I feel that way.

What does this say about me? Is there something wrong with me? 

3 Answers

  • 2 months ago

    Your glad your there, not because she died which doesn't say that there is anything wrong with you. As long as you love and care for her, even after she has died, its fine.

  • 2 months ago

    Consider this....when YOU DIE, would you like to have someone there holding you who cared about you?  Or would you like to be all alone in the room when you take your last breath?

    It is personally comforting to know that you held someone when they left this world because you wanted them to feel comforted and loved, despite the fact that death isn't pretty.

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    🥴 Youre lucky.

    I wasnt there for mine due to COVID restrictions on riding in an ambulence or being inside the hospital. Mine died in the cathlab and they disposed of her clothes which sounds suspicious to me. 

    Long story short.... 🥴 at least you got to be with yours during her last breath. Im still debating on what to do to find out what really happened.

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