My friend is mad at me because I like a guy?
So I’ve been getting close with this guy, and we’re planning to date. My best friend is getting angry saying “you’re making it obvious you’re gonna get together” while I’m telling her that people can ask. That’s fine. I’ve deliberately spent time with her so she knows I won’t ditch her for this guy, (every free chance I get unless she’s not free and I’ll hang out with the guy) and I’ve never blatantly left her for him. That’s the thing, I don’t know what I’ve done? What should I say to her? Today, she said that we should go somewhere and I suggested we stay in the same place because I had to do work when she wanted to go out and she says “it’s only because you wanna be with him”
I don’t know what to do or say, because I have been in a friendship where I’m ditched for the boyfriend so I’ve made sure not to put her in that position too. But at this point, it’s making me think she will get mad over anything while he is close to me. What should I do?
- StrandLv 72 months agoFavorite Answer
Confront the problem directly. Tell her you understand that she is worried about how your relationship will affect your friendship, but she is being unfair and controlling. You still make time for her and treat her like a friend. She has no reason to doubt your commitment, and really it's insulting that she assumes the worst of you. If she can't trust you and respect your time, then you need to reconsider your friendship.
- Anonymous2 months ago
She sounds really fake or unreasonably jealous of either him or you. Either way I think you would be better off distancing yourself from her, she's being completely selfish.
- ?Lv 42 months ago
Have you thought of being a throuple with this guy you and your friend?
- ?Lv 52 months ago
Sounds like she is both jealous and worried you will see less of her.
The fact you make time for her tells me you plan on remaining a good friend. Have that discussion with her. Tell her you won't ditch her for this guy.
Keeping commitments seems to be a rare thing these days.
You want to keep adding people you love in your life, not drop them.
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- ?Lv 72 months ago
Tell her she's right, you ARE really interested in this guy and hoping for a date, hoping for steady dates, even boyfriend-girlfriend status. But you're not going down the "Every available hour devoted to the guy" road with it because you understand that too much togetherness isn't good. Tell her you value her friendship and don't intend to let BF-GF stuff get in the way of being friends.
Along with that be very honest with her about this guy being on your mind. If part of the reason you want to do something, don't want to do something, involves the guy then be upfront about it instead of pretending. And don't try to use your friend as a prop or accessory in your pursuit of Mr. Attractive unless she is a willing participant in the plan.
- BarryLv 62 months ago
Just tell her to STFU. You are happy to be her friend. If she can't reciprocate that's her problem not yours. I think she is jealous of your imminent dating which is just sad.