Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsOther - Family & Relationships · 2 months ago

Sister and husband kept a secret from me ?

Workout going into a lot of details my husband went behind my back with my older sister- apparently she knows someone connected to the situation he needed help with ( he told her not to tell me because he didn’t want me to be upset - even though the situation didn’t seem that bad after I found out. 

There were secret texts and phone calls between them duri N that few days and lies were told. I dont speak to most of my family as I’ve been betrayed badly by them. My sister was the last one I trusted & she did this- I’m heartbroken. IMO she should've told him she’s not happy keeping it from me- she was more than happy to apparently. We’ve been through a lot and I’ve supported her through so much. My husband and my sister aren’t close- & have never text each other prior to this. It’s the lies an secrecy I can’t get over. Any advice? 


Without* sorry I found out yesterday I’m still shaken up.. sorry for the typos 

Update 2:

I appreciate the comment David yes I have questioned myself wondering if I’m overreacting it’s a possibility but then you can help your feelings can u.. I just hate lies and secrecy of any kind after a lot that has happened in my past which doesn’t justify but does explain why I feel betrayed. Not all betrayal is sexual. 

Update 3:

Hi Sandy, yes I suppose I can be reactionary but not mad, but that’s not why he felt the need to keep it from me .. I have anxiety issues since pretty much forever and he didn’t want the situation to stress me out. I of course also felt terrible and the worst, and weak and all the self put downs I can think of that he felt he couldn’t come to me. That was part of it. 

I’m not aggressive or controlling I just like honestly regardless of how it might hurt me. 

4 Answers

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    Yes, stop trolling.  

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    You’re probably better off not being around these people z

     . . . . . . . . . .

     , , , , , , , , , ,

  • ?
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    ask yourself WHY they felt the need to keep this secret from you. are you extremely reactionary? because that's usually why people do things like keeping thing from people like you. do you get extremely upset,  blow things out of proportion, make everybody feel worthless, and only you can do anything the right way? you need to take anger management classes.

  • David
    Lv 6
    2 months ago

    You are over-reacting.  WAY over-reacting.  To be fair, you were raised to be the way that you are.  However, most people would not react strongly to what happened.  Your husband had good intentions.  Your sister recognized that your husband had good intentions, and so she played along.  Ironically, they were both trying to protect you.  But the way you see it, they BETRAYED you.  

    You aren't going to change what happened.  You aren't going to change the way that your husband feels about what happened.  You aren't going to change the way your sister feels about what happened.  You can only change the way YOU feel about what happened.  You are faced with a choice...

    Be all mad and heartbroken about the situation (which would accomplish nothing) or...

    Just accept it as it happened, and get over it quick.

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.