Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 2 months ago

How do I move on.. if he asks to come over my place after a break up should I let him?

I’ve come to terms that I have a lot of growing to do within.. I’m 25 and just ended an almost five year relationship with a guy that I love because he moved 1,700 miles away and was unable to handle my emotions and neediness through the distance. It eventually ended because he didn’t answer my texts/ calls for 8 hours. So being worried I reached out to his brother. As soon as a did that my boyfriend texted me.. and I was so hurt because I didn’t understand why he couldn’t just tell me that he was out. We talked and mutually decided to break up after a roller coaster of emotions all year. He claimed at the end of our break up that it’s not just me but that he has a lot of growing to do in order to be the man I need and that he’s tired of making me wait and that my emotions are causing him stress. He said he’s confused because he really loves me and enjoys our good times together but that he’s stressed and confused. The hard part is, he just flew home to his mom’s today and we’re only two hours away. I’m not sure if he’ll reach out to see me since we just mutually broke up Friday. Before we ended the call he still welcomed me over to his family’s  for Thanksgiving and said that he loved me and is there if I really need him but that makes no sense.. how could you be there if I need you but couldn’t respond to my texts? I declined going for Thanksgiving because it didn’t seem appropriate after a breakup. I don’t want to be over. I love him but I feel I deserve better at times.

Update:

And just to add, the night he was out and was not responding to my texts and calls, he did see me calling and texting but decided that he didn’t have to respond and that I was “tripping” for reaching out to his brother and worrying so much... he said that my excessive emotions and reactions like that stress him out so he ignored me to basically see how far I would go. It’s so sad and it hurts.

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  • 2 months ago
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    i think personally if you love someone you should never give up and try especially if theres some chance to renew the love when hes close after being gone for so long. 

    but if you wanna move on from him and have made your mind up to not be with him anymore, and skip thanksgiving, then its like any other break up. then block him and cry for the next few weeks, eat food, play and go out, and finally delete your memories of him. go through the 5 stages of grief and etc.. Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. a quicker way tho is just to DAB DA grief away. 

    but thats about it, if youre looking for some hope to rekindle your love for him, and make it work, maybe you just need to see each other to work it out. cause one last person to person goodbye doesnt hurt, but it does make you realize if what youre making is a regret or what you need to do is the right thing. 

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