Need genuine advice as you whether this is abusive or tough parenting. ?

I am now 18 years old and all of these events took place when I was around the ages of 6-10 years old. 

I’m really unsure as to whether my mum was actually really abusive or if it is just tough parenting. I know parenting is a controversial subject but as I’m not a parent myself I want some advice as this is keeping me up at night sometimes.  

My mum would smack me when I behaved badly when i was younger, which after speaking to my friends doesn’t sound too abnormal. However, things sometimes got too far. My mum once got so angry at me she smacked my head into the carpeted floor so hard that I got carpet burn above my eyebrow. She told me I had to tell my teachers I fell off the bed. She was very apologetic and told me it won’t happen again. Other things she did was sprayed a surface cleaning spray in my face in a moment of anger & then proceeded to tell me she wishes she could put a plastic bag over my head. Again, she was very apologetic. 

One time when I was very young we were re-arranging books on our book case. I was obviously very young and wasn’t really helping; i can distinctly remember not knowing how to help so I must have been around 3 or 4. 

She threw a pile of heavy books on top of me. 

I know some people may think it’s ridiculous that I’m even asking if this is abuse, but please try to understand that my mum is also a very wonderful, loving woman. I just want to know other peoples views so I can know if perhaps I can stop feeling so angry. Thankyou. 

14 Answers

  • Regina
    Lv 5
    3 months ago


  • 3 months ago

    how are you so angry.??? have you done something..???   sorry honey..

  • Anonymous
    3 months ago

    The question is CAN YOU CHANGE ANYTHING? ans=NO

    .  Smacking your @sss(that is why you have a generous layer of fat there.)= normal (no smacking in the head)

    Smacking you into the hard floor is not right. Brain damage or a broken neck could be the result.  A leather belt or a switch on the butt hurts or a rap on the open hands hurts.  Throwing books on top of you is no different than throwing bricks at you.  It is not done.

    The plastic bag over the head is not a funny matter.  She knew it. She apologized Anytime they apologize, they knew they went too far.

    At 3 or 4 you do not have a good memory yet.  I can go back as far as age 9 and that is it. Same year I broke my arm (myself).  Don't remember the days before that.

    There is no instruction manual on how to raise kids so your parents were doing the best they could for their financial situation.  Which is always stressful.

    You too will soon become a parent so pay attention to YOUR actions you do to your kids. Avoid your mistakes as kids will make mistakes as they learn.  You been there. You dun dat.

  • Anonymous
    3 months ago

     Sound’s like a semi comedic troll story quite honestly zx

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  • 4 months ago

    Nona and puppa please send clean pasta from Italy no huba please  Malta and Italy ,are best friends Italy  as Maltese supply eggs and chicken to gold bullion standards  .Mr pace I promisenot build a compitive shed but balut for the Phillipines and Asians I need Korean coffee as as it help train people send  Tafe trainers.coles your employee must stay clear of people and Woolworths ALDI you ultimate clean people let you scientist use and test clean foods awards Chancellor ultimate test for all is clean food ..steggles .salt and pepper from India is clean no amulets but prayers  for peace  .please buy computer chips made in Malta Europe of high standards .biada has not right to lose her business she know s no pedofiles there a but is a fighter for me and all children rights .cordina and debono  are married nuns of malta have no criminals ties  but just people .no huba in bread  cordina I ll explain is decent human being Maltese Nona must forgive me build a smart .193,6 highest IQ in Malta Nona kindswood country feed the Australian clean .Nona paggy and bikers feed on blood they don't nonna understand Jesus Mary or the saints  .fund people like brother destroy family .  Save Malta pace build a bike museum of rare motor cycles and cars don't sell .uncle David ..Germany teach your people clean living  and  ALDI milk is great 

  • L
    Lv 5
    4 months ago

    Which ever you think it're an ADULT now - MOVE ON.

  • 4 months ago

    I can't tell you definitively one way or another.  I didn't witness these events and lets be honest, you don't remember them exactly as they occurred either.  What I can tell you definitively is that your mother was not a perfect parent.  How do I know that?  Because no one is a perfect parent.  Those of us who are parents have all made mistakes in parenting.  We are human and thus make mistakes sometimes.  So if your goal is to find imperfection in your mother's efforts to raise you, you have certainly reached that goal.  Feel free to ignore all the positives and solely focus on the negatives.  Focus on any of the past negatives of your life will only serve to exist are a hurdle to your future.  Thus perhaps you should be spending your time looking forward rather than dwelling on a past you cannot change.  Good Luck.

  • 4 months ago

    It would appear that your mother had some anger management problems. That said, did she lose her temper with other people? Your father, for example?Have you discussed these matters with her? Is it possible that her own mother was this way when she was around the age you are now? In a quiet period take her back to when she was your age and how she felt when treated unkindly by her parents. Do this sincerely with genuine interest - probably best not during an argument. That said, it might perhaps be effective when emotions are high. It is usually better to ask questions than to say things. 

    The thing is that we can't actually do anything about the past. What happened to you can help you to be a better parent in due time; you might want to discuss things with your mother - or find some family therapy to help you to move forward.Good Luck!

  • Anonymous
    4 months ago

    Your mother is an abusive POS by everything you have written here.  She is NOT a loving, caring parent.  Loving, caring parents never abuse their children physically.  I don't understand how you are so easily willing to brush it off because she was 'apologetic'.  Someone with violent tendencies does not have remorse, what she had was fear of getting found out.  Please get therapy so that you do not emulate these behaviors with your own children.  EDIT: Mr. Miranda man, how nice of you to be misrepresenting yourself as a you not have better things to do with your time???

  • 4 months ago

    I’m 18. My mum only 40 and was born in 1980:(

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