Liana asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 3 months ago

Should I just leave my mom? She keeps saying I must stay with her and I'm sick of her.?

I love my mom. I have 4 younger siblings. I'm the oldest and I'm 24. My second oldest sister is 22. I was raised well but my parents were always a bit off. The day goes depends on how my mother is feeling. If she wants that day to be hell, its going to be hell. But she does have her good days. My dad is almost never around. He leaves the house every chance he gets. He never wants to stick around or do anything to help my mom. I dont even feel like I have a dad. Hes like a stranger to me. We never talk. Anyway, my mom is very toxic towards me. She often degrades me and tries to compare me with other girls or my younger sister who's going to become a family doctor. She tells me I'm worthless and ugly and fat and that no ones gonna marry me and she will be stuck with me. She keeps telling me to go find a man and get married because a womans purpose is to be a stay at home mom. I do work. I'm a cashier at a grocery store and I've been saving my money, as well as helping my parents with expenses. My mom is never satisfied. I finally have enough to move out of this house but she wont let me. She keeps saying that I will fail when I move out and run out of money. I told her I would rather be homeless than stay a second in this house and than she threatened to end herself. I feel trapped because I desperately want to move out and start my own life but shes getting in the way. Shes never supported me with anything in my life and she wants me to be dependent on her. I dont understand

Update:

I dont get why she doesn't want me to be happy. She loves seeing me in a depressed mood. Whenever I'm happy, she finds a way to come and wipe the happiness off my face. Shes been doing this since I was 10 and I'm just tired of toxicity. My face is stuck looking miserable because of my life in misery with her. She acts like she loves me but she just wants what's best for herself. She loves when I'm sad and she loves seeing me cry. And now shes threatening to end herself if I ever leave the house.

Update 2:

She tells me that I have to be married first in order to leave so I dont become a failure. Shes trying to set me up on all these dates with her friends sons but I keep rejecting them. I'm not ready for marriage or children. I don't even want children to be honest but that's not an option for her. What's wrong with my mom? Should I just pack up and leave when shes sleeping? I'm tired of being held back. I'm often depressed and suicidal myself but she loves it. 

Update 3:

Shes very nasty towards my 18 year old sister. Shes only proud of her son because hes a boy and my sister who's becoming a doctor.

8 Answers

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  • Eva
    Lv 7
    3 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    What do you mean "she won't let me". You're of age. She can't stop you. Find a place you can afford. Don't tell her you're looking until you've found one. Then pack and move.  She'll probably throw a tantrum and try to make you feel guilty, but don't give in.  I don't know where you live, but the "stay at home mom" thing is rarely possible these days.  Most women need to have a way to financially support themselves even if they're married.

  • 3 months ago

    Don't leave your parents. just remember one thing, "What goes around, that comes around".

    Today you will leave your parent, in future your children'sn will leave you. think about it.

  • 3 months ago

    Sounds confusing, indeed. I came from a family of 5 kids and we all moved out before we were 19. I moved out at 17. Only the eldest waited until 19. Not sure why you are continuing to have your Mother dictate your life. That's actually your choice though you appear to deny it. 

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    3 months ago

    thats up to you

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  • T J
    Lv 6
    3 months ago

    Get out of that house, do not tell them you are moving out. Get the place and slowly move a little at a time, until you have everything in your new place.leave note on your bed...walk out like normal, and do not look back. No wonder your father is never their, he wants to run, just like you.

  • ?
    Lv 6
    3 months ago

    Nothing wrong with disowning an abusive family member.

  • Anonymous
    3 months ago

    I would tell that ***** to get the **** out my life and leave me alone. You're an adult and she cant do rats **** about it

  • Anonymous
    3 months ago

    Rent a room in a shared house. You say she says you must stay but tells you to go find a husband. She's delusional if she thinks a woman's purpose is to be a stay-at-home mom. That's what women did decades ago, but most can't afford to do that these days. Move out, you've been an adult for years now and you need peace of mind not a toxic environment. 

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