I called a transgender “man” accidentally at work by accident. What should I do?

After a long day of work, I usually tell people “see you later man” because I work with a lot of guys. I passed right by a woman that I know is a transgender and actually said “see you later man”. She didn’t respond. Then I said “ see you later” and she responded. I want to apologize by all means if I hurt her, but I don’t even know. I consider myself a sensitive person and very well aware of peoples feelings. To say that to someone who is a good person makes me feel terrible and it was just out of pure accident and habit. I’m hoping she doesn’t report me and I get fired. How should I go about this situation?

9 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Id just drop it unless she brings it up. I remember hearing that trans people don't like to dwell on these things because it can make it awkward. Its nice that people like to apologize to them but most seem to want you to correct yourself like you did and then move on. I assume you have been respecting her identity and if you keep doing so I am sure she wont think anything of it and will know it was a slip up. 

    Maybe its just me but "see you later man" seems gender neutral. Like saying "guys" to a group of people or calling someone "dude". 

  • 1 month ago

    Explain, to her!

                                 

  • 1 month ago

    Screw her. You also deserve to be free from propaganda. 

  • reme_1
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    You might want to privately apologize for your slip up. Explain that you usually use that expression to everybody as you leave work. The more you make out of this the more uncomfortable you both will be. 

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  • Sky
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    I'd say don't bring it up unless she does.  Continue to treat her with kindness and respect, and the same friendliness you always have and refer to her with female pronouns (particularly when she's within earshot) to show her that you respect and accept her for who she is.  If she brings it up and expresses feelings of insult over it, just apologize to her and tell her it was unintentional due to how you always address people.  (ie. "Did I call you 'man'?  Oh, wow...I'm sorry about that and didn't mean anything by it.  It's just what I always say, to men and women, so it was totally accidental.  I'll be sure to not call you that again.")  As long as she's a sensible person she'll accept your apology and will realize that you meant no insult by it.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Say absolutely nothing or you will be fired. I can't believe this stupidity is our lives now. If you bring it up, it will be used against you. Hope no one noticed.

    edit: I'm serious--don't apologize privately, it just will cause more problems because you will have admitted it happened.

  • Lauren
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    How you apologize I guess might depend on whether she is "out" as trans. If she is, then maybe an explicit apology where you just say what you said here is sufficient (in private of course). If she isn't, modulate your behavior and language in future to let her know that you respect her identity.

    I'm not a binary trans person. I'm "assigned female at birth" and lean masculine. People call me sir like at least 40% of the time these days esp since I'm always in a mask and a hat. It doesn't offend me bc I know they are well-meaning. Hopefully she'll see that in you too. 

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    You're correct to presume trans women are sensitive to terms like man, you guys, dude, etc.

    Go to her privately and apologize, and tell her you intend to do better. That's all anyone wants is sincere regret when you've hurt them.

  • JJ
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Change your saying to, "See ya later, alligator!"

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