Why don't women find happy men attractive?

I was chatting to a friend of mine at work and out of the blue she said to me "You know, you'd get loads of women if you weren't so happy all of the time."

I asked her about it, but she couldn't really explain why.

Now I've been told by so many people that I'm probably the happiest person they know and I agree that I'm a pretty happy person.

And after thinking about it, she might be right. At least it matches my experiences. When I were 19-21, I went through a flirty stage in my life and I acted super calm and chilled out in every circumstance and while I didn't get loads of women, I did have a few girlfriends and they were REALLY pretty. But I stopped doing that because it was all an act and I was tired of it. I'm 24 now and I kind of feel like I grew up since then and I want to go out and enjoy life and experience new things. Since then I've become so much more interesting and I feel like the best version of myself and as a consequence I've been so happy. But I'm also getting absolutely no attention from women. None at all, not an exaggeration.

So what she said rings true.

I also just did a google search on it and studies say that happy men are seen as significantly less attractive. Even moody men and angry men are more attractive apparently.

Now I'm not going to change. If women don't like me being happy, they don't like me. I don't care, I'm patient enough to find someone I like that likes me without putting on a show like I did before.

But I am curious. Why?

10 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Never heard of this before. Don't worry, Be happy! You sound like a good soul. Best wishes on your adventures. The person is likely just jealous!

    However, definitely Google "toxic positivity" to make sure you are not doing that instead. I'd rather have a real friend than a fake happy friend. Not saying you are fake...just something to think about.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Just depends on the person, I guess. Many women prefer men who are happy cuz less problems to deal with. I don't find real men attractive (only women and I'm only attracted to fictional men) so I don't know.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    I don't believe she is correct. Just my thoughts.

  • 1 month ago

    I'm not sure where you live or who you mix with, but in my 50 plus years, I have NEVER even heard a rumour that women don't like happy men.

    I should take this information with a huge pinch of salt!

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  • T J
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    I have no idea, why anyone would not be with someone thats happy.

  • Ana
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    Hmm, this is interesting 

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    The world is not a happy place. Pick up a newspaper

  • 1 month ago

    maybe she thinks its cheeky or flirty too much maybe...

  • 1 month ago

    I dont know who told you that but she is forcing her opinion on you. I'm a 19 year old woman and I find men who smile a lot attractive. Don't listen to what others say and you do you.

  • 1 month ago

    I've read about studies where smiling women are rated more attractive but smiling men less attractive. Maybe it goes back to those old-fashioned ideas that women should "smile more" (something that is often said to women and drives them nuts) and be cheerful, motherly, sociable, etc. While men are supposed to be the serious, dependable, hardworking "strong and silent type." 

    One of the things that attracted me to my husband of 20+ years was his laugh. We worked together in a busy office but I would often hear his wonderful laugh and I just had to find out what was so funny. I love to make him laugh. And before I met him, I dated "goofball" guys who were always making me laugh and knew how to enjoy life. 

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