V T asked in HealthMental Health · 1 month ago

What can I do, when my future mother in law tempts his own addict son? I have been in an 8yrs RS w/ someone that has an addiction prob. ?

he was on the streets b/c his mom kicked him out. I was naive about drug addictions and as time pass I learned how difficult it it to have a love one suffering this disease.  After 4 yrs w/ him, his mom jumps on board. hefinished a rehab program, and his mom thought it would be best to take him back home. So our RS became a long distance RS. He relapsed at some pt and everyone hid it from me. he had found a job so it took me a while to know that he was back on drugs. During the 3 yrs in the long distance RS my bf was able to keep a job but not receive the proper help. If he did he wouldnt stick to it. During an argument, his mom said to me: WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT, IF HE ALREADY HAS A JOB. Thats when I learned she didn't had a problem with his addiction and guess who was in control of his money. Yup! her if he needed to score she would give it to him. Over 3 years, I felt helpless and at some point i thought our RS had reached the end.  So, I thought it would be best if he moved back with me. He did since his been with me, his been able to stick to his clinic but for the pass couple of months I noticed a pattern everytime he sees his mom he relapse. I found out that his mom offers him money for "emergencies" I had already talked to her a couple times but she denies it. Until while my fiance was sleeping, his mom txted him that on his way to work he can pick up some $ and to erase his text mgs. So as you can imagine I was 🤬. So what should I do? This is his mom who tempting him

3 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    You are involved with an addict.  I was once involved with an addict.  He will NOT change unless HE wants to change.  His mother, you, no one else can keep him straight or keep him addicted.

    He sounds like he has the mental capacity of a child.  That's a bigger issue than the addiction.  

    You are his fiance.  You are not his wife.  Should push come to shove, his MOTHER is his next of kin, and she will decide what happens next.

    I decided to get out.  I was tired of mothering my husband, carrying the weight of our marriage on my shoulders, working my tail off.  I was terrified that I would get pregnant and raise a child with an addict for a father.  And, yes, my husband went on and off drugs for years.

    Your life is spinning out of control and passing you by, and only YOU can change things.

  • 1 month ago

    He's a grown up and it's his own choice. After this many years you've got to realize that he's not going to change. 

  • Kieth
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    He's not your problem, and don't let him be. Keep him out of your house and don't give him anything.

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