How to handle/cope with a partner who is stonewalling?

My partner and I have a good relationship, we typically communicate about things very well. Within these 3 months, his life has been full of changes, like being sober for 2 months, and landing a job, right out of a very bad situation. Sunday night, I was slightly angry, because he asked me if I was okay, and when I answered, he didn't respond, so I addressed him about it. Since then, has stonewalled me, 4 days straight, no response. I apologized for the way I expressed myself that night. Still no response. Do people who handle stress poorly, shut down under pressure? How do we help/encourage them to communicate? And please,no harsh or rude comments. It's been a depressing time for me and I just need solid and kind advice for saving my relationship... Thank you.

3 Answers

  • 4 weeks ago
    Favorite Answer

    Stonewalling is a huge red flag in relationships. It's one of the signs that predict a relationship is not going to work.

    You mention that he has been sober for 2 months. This is a very stressful process but that doesn't justify his actions.

    I have no idea how was your relationship before but if you have gone to Al-anon meetings you'll know that the first year of recovery for an alcoholic is the toughest one, and many many don't stay in the marriages/relationships.

    You don't owe this man to stay just because you are married. And I say this w all the kindness I can.

  • ?
    Lv 7
    4 weeks ago

    maybe you shouldnt be with him if hes going to be like that

  • Some people do shut down. Some words of advice you can’t help those who refuse it. I don’t know what transpired with your argument but I think you should move on. Let him come to you but it sounds like that may not happen if it’s 4 days. Wether it’s because of the argument or not. But you can’t save others if they don’t want to nor is it healthy to try to fix others either. I hope it does work out but I wouldn’t get your hopes up. 

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.