Breakthrough asked in HealthMental Health · 1 month ago

How do you force a brain damaged person into a retirement home ?

My moms brain is getting worse because of her old age - she constantly makes bad decisions and stupid decisions but she is just as controlling and argumentative and domineering and high maintenance as she was when her rational judgment made logical sense - we might need a police officer to hand cuff her and escort her off our property against her will 

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  • 1 month ago
    Favorite Answer

    You need to take her to court and have her declared legally incompetent. She will be provided with a lawyer who will be arguing that she is not. You need to prove beyond the shadow of a doubt that she cannot make decisions and take care of herself.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    If she truly needs to be institutionalized, then you collect evidence and take it to a judge to get commitment papers. 

    If it's just that you'd rather her be homeless than at your home, I feel sorry for both of you. 

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    She brought you into the world and now you’re going to have her taken out of it in handcuffs? Wait until you get old...you have some ‘treats’ in store for you. I’m saying this as an older person who is also a parent. So I know what I’m talking about

  • 1 month ago

    If it is her house, she has every right to be there. 

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  • Chanel
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    I doubt a police officer would hand cuff an elderly lady.

    Could you get help for her like a carer to call in everyday so you can go out.

    But I was my mum's carer and I am glad that I never had to put her in a home cos I would not have been able to live with my conscience.

    However, saying that I do not criticise  anybody who puts their mother in a home cos it is a big responsibility 24/7 and the mental torture of it can make you physically ill also.

    It depends on the situation. If the responsibility is on one person then it is very very stressful. It can only work if there are about 3 family members who look after her between themselves.

  • garry
    Lv 5
    1 month ago

    force nope never do that , see a doctor to see if she needs a nursing home ..by the way you just want her money dont you ...

  • Andy C
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    That's certainly an option if you don't care about her.  Your issue is that you think of it as forcing her and so will she. 

    Try videos of her making nonsensical choices and talking about how her health care cannot be done by working adults that are also parents.   You simply don't have the time or expertise and assisted living would offer those in spades.

    Set up a regular visit schedule and stick to it so as to reassure her that you are not just abandoning her there.

  • 1 month ago

    First, you need to document this behavior.  You need to write down day, time, situation and witnesses to her behavior.  Film it.  Video or audio tape it.

    Then, make an appointment to see her doctor about this (without her).

    Each state in the union has different mental health codes and going to court to get Power of Attorney of THE PERSON (not their finances) is a long and difficult and expensive legal task.  And your mother can show up at the court hearing and speak lucidly and the judge will declare her normal.

    You don't say where she lives now and if she lives on her own without any assistance from family members.  And if she is able to pay her bills and get her own food and she isn't living in filth and squalor, the judge will say she is NOT brain damaged to the point where she needs assisted living.

    Your best bet is to document her behavior and then involve her doctor and your own family lawyer.  And if anyone becomes violent or threatening on YOUR PROPERTY, the police will gladly remove them.

  • 1 month ago

    can't do that.....she would need to be declared incompetent by a court

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