Who’s The Asshole? ?

Hi guys! I went to a wedding last weekend where one of the bridesmaids brought her on again, off again boyfriend.  They are known for constantly fighting and breaking up.  The bride was fine with this guy being her bridemaid’s date, but did ask her to make sure they wouldn’t be fighting during the ceremony/reception. Of course, they did. He refused to shake the groom’s hand (it was their first time meeting), and the bridesmaid spent most of the reception crying in the bathroom.  She felt the bride wasn’t there for her, but she was busy with her wedding. When the bridesmaid did come out, she left early with her date, fighting.  The bride is trying not to be upset, but I can tell she is but doesn’t want to damage her friendship with her bridesmaid, she isn’t very confrontational. How would you feel about this? I keep telling her she kindof ruined her wedding, but the bride just doesn’t say anything when I say that. Am I the asshole for thinking this girl ruined my friend’s fun at her own wedding? Or is the bridesmaid in the wrong? Thanks for any input. 

12 Answers

  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    4 weeks ago

    It doesn't sound like you're either the bride or the bridesmaid in this scenario so one wonders why you're trying to make trouble for these people. If the bride wants to keep the friendship and you're trying to talk her into blanking her friend over something as silly as a wedding, I'm sorry to say that the ****ole might be you. 

  • 4 weeks ago

    Beside this being none of your business, you are foolish to project your own feelings on the bride and expect her to mimic how YOU feel.

    Back off, shut up and carry on.

  • 1 month ago

    Why are you trying to convince her of anything? A good friend wouldn't bring it up at all.

  • 1 month ago

    You are totally out of line trying to convince the bride that her bridesmaid "kindof ruined her wedding" when the truth is that most people likely tuned that other gal out and didn't pay a lick of attention. Knock it off and don't bring it up again. It's none of your business. Why would you even do that? Trying to make the bride feel badly about her wedding? That's a 100% jerk thing to do. 

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  • Trish
    Lv 5
    1 month ago

    All three of you...you the bridesmaid and the date.

  • T J
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    The bridesmaid is a nut job, first, for starting a fight over nothing. A hand shake? Really? And to think the bride would be worried about her?  I hope her BF dumps her butt, she is crazy.

  • 1 month ago

    You. You knew all this was going on, but you didn't help deal with the situation, you're actively trying to wind the bride up with the idea that her wedding was "ruined", and now you're online asking strangers to say something judgemental about your so-called friends.

  • 1 month ago

    Uh...what difference does it make how other people would feel about this? 

    Nobody was "wrong", it just sounds like typical wedding drama. 

  • Jerry
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    "is the bridesmaid in the wrong?"

    Of course adults who behave badly at a wedding are responsible for their own bad behavior.

    "I keep telling her she kindof [sic] ruined her wedding ..."

    That is, you are playing at "Let's you and her have a fight." Based on this, I'd say it's YOU who is being the butt hole. This is between the bride and her friend. Stop inserting yourself into something that is none of your business. 

    Those who are or who may in the future be involved in planning a wedding, please take note of this sad story. This is part of the reason there's a "no ring = no bring" rule for weddings. A wedding is for people the couple or their parents know and care about, not a place for a "date." Invite each guest by name so that there is no "I don't know anything about this person; it's Chris's date" potential behavior problem among your guests. 

    If you'd like to invite a special someone for an unmarried guest, get that someones name and address and actually INVITE him/her. This eliminates inviting an "I don't know if we'll be together on the wedding day" rocky relationship type sweetheart, prevents the potential disaster of admitting a "hardly know the person" casual date.  

    NEVER invite "And Guest." There is no polite way to say "You can tag along but we can't be bothered to actually INVITE you." Invite every guest by name, even tiny children, so that there be no confusion about who is and who IS NOT invited. 

    Responses likewise should NAME each person invited, not "3 will be attending" but "Homer, Margery, and Lisa Simpson accept with pleasure the kind wedding invitation for April 31st. Bartholomew and Baby Margaret regret they will be unable to attend." Your hosts can't create their seating chart &c without knowing WHICH 3 of the 5 invited Simpsons will attend. 

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    bf refused to shake grooms hand, IN THE MIDDLE OF A DAMN PANDEMIC, which is totally acceptable!!, and then the bridesmaid cries about it lol there are plenty of other things to get upset about. what a ridiculous child. 

    if i was the bride, i'd be like BYE. don't have time to comfort you on MY wedding day. wtf. 

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