Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 1 month ago

Me and my husband are house hunting, arguing about budget?

So me and my husband are first time home buyers, this will be our first house but also the house we plan on raising our family in. 

 Our budget is in the low 3’s, but the thing about it is, my husband inherited a large chunk of money from his grandfather, essentially enough for us to happily live comfortably for the rest of our lives. 

 The house I fell in love with is in the low 6’s which is almost double our budget but the thing is I am extremely picky and I know this is the house I absolutely love. I am dead set on it, however my husband is not budging with our budget and it makes me angry because we definitely can afford the house I want especially with the money he inherited. 

 How do I make him understand that his grandfather obviously gave us the money so we could be happy with a home.. not so that he can be Uber conservative with the money. I’m just stressed and really annoyed. 

Is it shallow of me to think like this or do I have a right to be kind of upset?   

14 Answers

  • 1 month ago

    Tread carefully here. It's really his money and you really don't have any right to tell him how to spend it. 

  • 1 month ago

    Grow the heck up.   This is the problem with people who buy homes.  Especially first time home buyers.  They always dream big and buy a home beyond their budget.      If you can get a 300K home, be happy with that.   You can always sell your home in 10 years time to get that dream house.      All it takes is one financial disaster to leave you guys homeless.   So buy within your means and plan for the future.  Do not try to get everything you want in a home on the first home.   That leads to financial ruin.    When My husband and i bought our first home 12 years ago, we paid $110K for it.   Now it's worth $400K.     Buy low, sell high.   If you buy your home with all the bells and whistles, the value doesn't go up much because there is nothing for you to add to the value.  

  • n2mama
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    You have zero right to be upset. You sound spoiled, greedy, and like a total brat. The money he inherited is his, he doesn’t want to spend it on a house that is twice the agreed to budget. That’s perfectly reasonable. I don’t care if you say you are “picky” (which reads as you are a spoiled brat), there are lots of nice houses in your budget, so keep looking until you find one you like. Your grubby grabby hands don’t belong on his inheritance.

  • T J
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    His grandfather, specifically gave him the money, not you, and for good reason as we see here. You will piss it away in a heartbeat.  You have zero rights to his inherited money, by law, its his, and his alone.  Maybe you need to wise up and look at 3 homes, and stop the bs with your husbands money. You have NO right to be upset with him. You are lucky he does not ask you for a divorce instead.......and you have no rights to his money at all, not even a dime.

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  • 1 month ago

    You two need to talk about finances and goals.

    Personally I wouldn't be comfortable about spending double the amount of my original budget on a house just because "I can". This type of decisions affects you in the future. Saying "i love he house" is not enough of an argument. 

    Also, inheritances aren't considered marital property by the law. It's his money.

    You say " How do I make him understand that his grandfather obviously gave us the money so we could be happy with a home.. not so that he can be Uber conservative with the money. I’m just stressed and really annoyed. " I doubt his grandfather would make a difference if it's a bigger or smaller house. Either way, you two need to talk. 

  • 1 month ago

    It's shallow of you. And a mansion is not required. And your husband's inheritance is not considered yours in any fashion in most of the states of the Union. So it sounds very greedy. Your husband probably is looking to the future when he doesn't have an income and wants to live within his means. Shape up. You are acting shallow and greedy and "for show". You can find wonderful homes in the mid $300,000 range where there are good schools and you'll live within your means. So inch it up, if you must, to another $50,000 and be thankful you have a husband with a good head on his shoulders.

    I'd not say this if it weren't for the fact that you want a house that is over $600,000 dollars as if all that matters is that you've decided he should buy it for you. And you are "dead set on it" even though it's not something you two could have ever afforded. So you're stressed and really annoyed. Unfortunately, it comes across selfish and demeaning. Maybe he wants to send the kids to college. Travel later. Not be worried about making the bills. 

    Falling in love with a house twice your budget is easy. I've done it dozens of times. Bottom line; so what? Doesn't mean it's a reasonable expectation for him to purchase for you.  

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    He's being sensible.  You're bring unreasonable.  You might have a point if it was a matter of taking $25K or so out of his inheritance to make up the delta, but paying twice your budget is both stupid and crazy.  Spending everything on a house is a bad move.  It will do much better in the stock market, where it can accrue interest, and be there for emergencies as well as later in life.

  • Dze
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    houses and where you want to live changes .. you need to be sure you can unload that shtbox and make money not lose out .. that said going into huge debt needlessly is dumb ..

  • Embery
    Lv 5
    1 month ago

    We have the money, lets spend it, no way anything will ever happen and we'll end up living in the street selling our blood.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    You have no right to be upset. Read what you wrote - "we definitely can afford the house I want especially with the money he inherited".

    It sounds like your husband is being fair and cautious, looking ahead, and planning for the future by not spending all of HIS money in one place. 

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