Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 1 month ago

My ex husband wants to buy a house together and vacation together in the future but doesn't want to get back together. what's the point.?

we divorced a couple of months ago after he discovered I was having a 7 month long affair. I did some crappy things like talked about my husband like a dog while having the affair, I bought the only man things, and told him I was leaving my husband. I just said that out of being hurt because we were having problems but I shouldn't have let it escape my mouth. I take full responsibility. The person I was before is not okay and I just desperately want my husband back. having him in my life as a friend is better than nothing at all but I crave intimacy from him. I need to touch him. I can't be in the same room and not want to touch him. we act like we are still married because we still get out to the movies, have sex, kiss, cuddle, talk on the phone text. he said he can't imagine his life without me but only as a friend. he admitted to still having feelings for me but said he has trust issues.. and is mad this is the second time I cheated..  My question is.. why would he even want to buy a house with me if he never plans on getting back with me? He said we can be roommates. does he honestly think that will not spark anything up? and he's talking about vacations to take together 

8 Answers

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  • 1 month ago

    It's his way of emotionally playing with you. He's right there yet won't commit. Do you blame him? I don't. 

  • 1 month ago

    You're right. There is NO point making future plans together if the divorce is set in motion. Either end it completely or work on fixing it. 

    Staying together while staying apart is a recipe for misery, for both of you. 

  • 1 month ago

    sex.

    There is no point other than he wants to use you for sex.

  • i + i
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    What is the point of posting endless variations of this question?

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  • 1 month ago

    He is in love with you, knows he can't trust you, is wrestling like crazy about it. I guess the only "point" would be that you decide whether or not this is how you want to spend your time. 

  • 1 month ago

    This could be disastrous. Sexual intercourse is very intimate. of course, and is very often emotionally binding, especially for the female and if regular or frequent. You have both grown a little, no doubt, but it could well be that he is using you, perhaps as a kind of punishment. You really need to stop having sex with him until the other issues are sorted out.

    Gert some couples counselling.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    I'm getting bored by the various versions of this story.  Anyway, apparently your ex-husband needs psychiatric help.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    I don't know much about him other than what you told us. but if I were you, I would be VERY careful before buying a house together. For all we know he could be plotting a way of getting revenge on you, and getting you sucked in COULD be his way of doing it.

    Just to be clear though, I'm not saying he will do that, but IF he was a malicious person, that would be a perfect way to do it.

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