Does this text read natural?

Boston has great attractions even on Saturday. As you browse through the Sowa Market you will realize that the vendors change every Sunday, making it a discovery of antiques , vintage fashion art and jewellrey on Harrison Avenue.


And also this one:

Take a stroll through the Paul Revere Park even with your kids and your dog. It's located near the Charles River in Charlestown and just a few minutes away from. You can get there by taking the bus line, which pnly costs $6'

1 Answer

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    "Boston has great attractions every day of the week."      If you really do want to limit the notion to Saturdays, omit the word 'even'.  It implies that the reader might think that Saturdays are generally thought of as very dull days. You do not want to raise any negative thoughts in a tourist blurb.

    ".....through Sowa Market on Harrison Avenue your eyes will feast on a treasure-chest of antiques, vintage fashion, art and jewellery.  Look out for something different every Sunday."     (Best to establish the main idea before noting the possibility of weekly changes.)

    "...your dog. It's located just a few minutes from the Charles River in Charlestown, on a direct bus route from the bus station."  (or from the city center, or from wherever that bus route starts, maybe the hotel district.  Omit the price of the bus ride.)

    Maybe omit mention of 'dog'  Not every visitor to a distant city brings their dog with them. Definitely omit 'even'. The use of 'even' is in no way justified there and again it has that slightly negative feel to it.

    Every time you think of using 'even' in any sentence remember that possibility of negative feeling. Sometimes 'even' is useful, but not nearly as often as you seem to think.  Look at a tourist brochure from anywhere. It is unlikely that you will find the word 'even'.

    Don't forget all the commas in "antiques, vintage fashion, art and jewellery."  Note spelling of 'jewellery' in the British way; I think that the American way might be 'jewelery' - but definitely '-ery at the end.

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