Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 1 month ago

Late grandmothers estate?

My grandmother passed recently and left her entire estate solely to my father. This included a house and other bits. Upon going through her belongings my dad found a note, written by my grandma but unsigned saying that if he chose to sell the house she would like him to give me and my sister £15000 each. He was very cagey about this note but did eventually show it to me. He has since announced he is moving in to the home with my stepmother. He has also declared he is going to gift her half of the house. My stepmother has her own children now grown up and in their 30s. Additionally my grandmother also told me and my father that she wanted me to have her jewellery (only verbally and with no written record), however on her passing my stepmother entered the property and took the jewellery to her house and has been dishing it out to other people. I have not been given the chance to choose anything. I believe she has also pawned some of it off.  Is this right or wrong? I feel betrayed by my father, how would you feel?

8 Answers

  • Jane
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Sadly, your grandmother didn't alter her will to show her wishes, and so these notes and verbal messages have no legal standing. It's not uncommon for this kind of thing to happen, especially as it is usual for properties, assets and belongings to pass after death to the next of kin ( assuming this is your father), and anything different has to be specified in the will.

    In a family where there is good communication, love and understanding, there would be sharing and fairness. I'm so sorry this hasn't happened in your family.

    I'm guessing that you don't have great relationship with your dad, let alone your stepmother!. In your position I would feel upset and angry, especially feeling that your grandmother's legacy and personal jewellery has been somehow hijacked.

    You could talk with your sister and arrange to speak with your dad together, explain that you feel you have nothing to remember your grandmother by on a personal level, and also that you feel disinherited and ignored as first family members.

    I imagine this won't be an easy discussion- try to stay calm, non-judgemental and focused on what you would like as an outcome of the discussions.

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    maybe you should talk to your father about it

  • 1 month ago

    I'd feel extremely betrayed by my Step Mom and square up to tell her so to her face. ASAP.  What your father chooses to do with his inheritance is his business but your Step Mom's actions are horrendous and you need call her on it. SHE'S wrong to do what she did with your grandmother's jewelry and, as an adult woman with grown children.. she knows it too. Otherwise? Unsigned notes mean nothing and verbal statements made at some point in time mean nothing and your father is the sole inheritor of his mother's estate. To do with as he desires. I'd feel betrayed and upset... and eventually realize I needed to let it go because there is no guarantee of inheritance and other people's things don't belong to me. 

    It is human to feel hurts and slights and grief all expressed in different ways by different people upon the death of a loved one. It is human to feel hurts and slights upon not receiving an inheritance expected. Lots of families weave through these wounds in the first few years of a death. And learn to deal with it or let it go. It's a challenge. We're human. Keeping family is usually more important than taking a stance never to be reconciled. 

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    The WILL determine how the estate is distributed.  Notes are NOT legally enforceable.  If that was your Grandmother's wish then THAT should have been in her Will.

    What your Grandmother "told" anyone is also irrelevant.

    Right and wrong are moral judgments.  Someone I doubt your stepmother is handing jewelry to random people.  Yes, people can pawn what belongs to them.  It seems your Grandmother bequeathed everything to your father, he gave it to your stepmother, she disposed of whatever she did not want.  That is not illegal if that's your question.

    I would feel like if my Grandmother had specific wishes she should have put them in her Will.  I also would feel like my Grandmother didn't owe me anything.

    You are disgracing your Grandmother's memory, but apparently that's less important than the money.

    If he SELLS the house your Grandmother would "like" whatever.  I don't see that he's sold the house.

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  • T J
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    Id confront him with everything, then cut him 100% out of my life, he is a POS to do what he did to you. I would not even go to his funeral, unless I wanted to pee or spit in his face.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    1)  It's his property to do with what he pleases. 

    2)  You aren't entitled to one nickel of your grandmother's assets or your dad's assets unless they are actually bequeathed to you.  

    3)  Your grandmother specifically chose not to leave you any of her assets.   If she had wanted to, she could have.   She also could have placed the house in a trust such that your dad didn't become owner of it.   She didn't.

    Back off, snowflake.   You have no right to be butt-hurt here.  

  • Bill
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    Legally, you have no standing.  Your father isn't selling the house so her unsigned note doesn't apply, even if it was enforceable.  Her telling your father to give you the jewelry isn't enforceable, either.  The jewelry and her house are his.  That doesn't mean you shouldn't feel cheated.  You were, but you can't do anything about it.    

  • Kieth
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    The unsigned note has no legal significance. It's not the will, it's unsigned, and it's only a request. You got nothing.

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