My father gets mad at me if I do anything that takes away from his control over me?
Anything he deems as "risky" without his hand holding, then he gets mad and yells at me and says that he should do it for me. I am 34 years old. I don't get it. If I date women, he gets mad at me. If I go out with friends, he gets mad at me. I don't even live with him. I live on my own. I have a job, all my bills are paid, no debt. No issues in my life. For example, I bought a car last year with my own money, and when I told him about it and showed him my new car, he started physically assaulting me and beat me because he said I was stupid to spend $15,000 on a car. It wasn't with his money, it was with my own money.
- Anonymous1 month ago
You're a grown man and you seem to have your life together, so why haven't you put him in his place or cut him out of your life yet?
- chris nLv 71 month ago
At 34 and independent, WHY are you constantly seeking your father's approval and telling him things and showing him things that you just KNOW he is going to disapprove of? Stop telling him. You know he's a man who needs to feel in control and basically he's lost it hasn't he. He cannot control your life. Your mother doesn't appear to be around so he's not able to control her either. He's your dad and you obviously love him. When he visits you, ask his advice about stuff (you don't have to take it). Make him feel that you value his opinion. Don't argue with him. Carry on doing your own thing. If he starts getting mad at you about anything, just leave. Say 'Stop telling me off like a little kid. I'm going and I'll see you again when you've calmed down'. If you do it often enough he'll learn not to upset you (just as you haven't yet learnt how to not-upset him.) Visiting your dad shouldn't be a constant conflict. He's insecure. Unfortunately, you are never going to impress him because he just can't handle that scenario. Sad - but that's life. You have to work round it.
- T JLv 61 month ago
Why have you not moved far from him? You have man berries, use them, tell him to go F himself and leave you alone. If he keeps at it, go to he police that you are being harassed by him, and file criminal charges on him. Id move to a new state and never even let him know I moved, no contact ever again. If he beats you, defend yourself, grab a kitchen knife, and cut off his balls, since you seam to have none of your own.
- ♥Sweetness♥Lv 71 month ago
Truthfully, keep your father out of your life. If he is going to act that way with you, you don't need him.
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- PearlLv 71 month ago
just talk to him about it