Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 1 month ago

Why are marriages so short nowadays?

It seems that people in marriages have a hard to remaining faithful to each other. They get divorce as soon as one little argue occurs.

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  • 1 month ago

    They aren't.  My parents have been married 56 years.  My husband and I will be celebrating our 28th anniversary next week.  Both of us have siblings who have been married more than 20 years.

    I do know people who are divorced.  In most cases the divorce came after 20+ years of marriage, which isn't short by most standards.

  • T J
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    Why anyone gets married today, is beyond me.

  • 1 month ago

    They're not, at least not in the US. People who get married today have a lower divorce rate than people who got married forty years ago (check the sources below for that data). This is largely due to younger folks (millennials, who are now in their mid-twenties to mid-thirties) waiting longer to get married, cohabitating before marriage, and becoming more financially secure before entering into marriages.

    The only generation that is currently seeing a divorce spike is Baby Boomers (55+). Don't worry, I've got a source for you on that down below too. The over fifty crowd is currently seeing a spike in divorces that is unique to their age bracket. What's extra interesting is that the last time there was a big divorce spike (in the late 1970s/early 1980s), many Baby Boomers we're getting married (and subsequently divorced) for the first time.This is by no means to say that the younger generations have magically figured things out. Divorce still happens. Break ups still happen, which are pretty messy for folks cohabitating. But to say that divorce is more common, or that marriages are "so short," simply isn't true. People who get married today have way better odds of staying together in the long term. And that's on a new generation taking their time to figure things out before jumping headfirst into a very important legal and financial commitment. As a group, Millennials literally can't afford to make a mistake when it comes to sharing their financial lives with someone. That means caution and patience.

  • 1 month ago

    I would say most divorces are WAY more than that.

    1) People are not good at picking a lifelong partner, especially in their teens to mid 20s. I know up until my mid 20s, I picked wrong people to date and to be friends with because I was too stupid to see the red flags.

    2) People get married for the wrong reasons and regret it later

    3) People change throughout their 20's and sometimes early to mid 30s and not always does their partner change with them

    4) Women no longer are financially dependent on men and have more freedom, so we aren't forced to stay if a man starts cheating, is emotionally neglectful and refuses to pull his weight in chores or in the relationship. Thats the main reason in the past there were less divorces.

    5) There is less of a stigma about divorce, so people are less likely to want to spend the rest of their life in a relationship where they are not able to be themselves and it wont change, plus they arent reaching their fullest potential of happiness

    6) I do think our society has become more shallow and selfish so there are a % of divorces that are for stupid reasons...but a marriage requires the work of two people. If only one person puts in the work, the other person is doomed. Theres no good end result out of that marriage. 

    Also, I majored in Sociology and most people dont know this, but the 50% divorce statistic includes a small minority of people that divorce two and three times, so it skews the stats a bit. It isnt actually 50% of people who get married end up wanting to divorce... its less than that but a small % of people divorce so much they mess up the statistic further. The same thing happens with crime statistics. Some small % of criminals reoffend so often it skews the statistic when compared to overall criminals.

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  • Ron
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    I don't know the stats, but assuming what you say is true, I think that society talks a lot of nonsense about marriage and love in general. It is a fairy tale to imagine that there is one other person who is magically right for us in all ways, and that they shall never hurt you, and that you have a right to expect perfection. Sadly, many people are naive and weak, and they have a hard time living with themselves and making themselves happy, let alone being 24/7 with another flawed human being. As for faithfulness, I wish people could be honest about their sexual desires and hangups. We want to be like the ideal, but the reality is, people succumb to all kinds of temptations. We are in fact TAUGHT to treat ourselves and reward ourselves, with sinful...chocolate. If a wife or husband has the odd secret orgasm here or there should be considered normal human behavior. 

  • 1 month ago

    I think you're exaggerating the frequency of divorce and the shortness of marriages, but perhaps that's how things are going right now in your home country? Where are you from? (I note that English is not your first language).

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