Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 4 weeks ago

Wife wants to divorce, can she continue to drain our money?

I lost my job a few months ago due to the pandemic. I start my new one January of 2021. My wife of 2 years has been working the entire time. She asked for a divorce 3 weeks ago + asked me to move to my mom's temporarily until I start work and during that time she said she'd find an apartment so I could move back when January comes. I think because she wants a divorce she should be the one to leave and not displace me. I was surprised when she asked for one even though we have been having problems/ fighting more.  I heard from her only yesterday. She doesnt have any family that live nearby and with COVID doesnt have any friends she feels comfortable temporarily living with so shes living in a hotel. Its a cheap one, but we cannot continue to afford it. She hasnt answered me on what we will do. We had been trying to have a baby for the past 6 months but due to our fighting the last 2 months didnt really try, but didnt prevent either, yesterday she told me she is pregnant and really unhappy about it

She asked for a divorce because she says Im too disrespectful, emotionally distant, I wont help in the future with our kid and I spend too much time fixating on looks and commenting on other women making her feel insecure. She says all of these cause her to not want to have sex with me, which makes me feel more unloved and act worse. I feel this is not a reason to divorce but Im not happy with her either.

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  • 4 weeks ago

    Oh dude, after divorce, you will be lucky to keep half your money.     One of the biggest issues for men is divorce.   In a divorce settlement, she will get half your stuff, half your money, at least until she gets married again, and if you had kids, then you will have to pay for that as well.   Many men become destitute because of divorce.   And for only being married 2 years, you will end up spending the next 18 years paying her child support for a kid you will be lucky if you get to see every 2nd weekend and rotating holidays.    98% of divorces the women win.  And 97% of child custody cases women get the child, and the man has to pay. 

    Get a damn good divorce lawyer and fast.  Cause she will take you to the cleaners.   

  • Ana
    Lv 6
    4 weeks ago

    First of all, you’re not required to move out of the house if you both own the house. And you should politely tell her, on recording, that you are not moving out of the house because you do not want to divorce. And tell her that if SHE wants to break up the family, SHE can be free to move out of the house if she wants, but that you co-own the house and you will NOT be the one moving out.

    Obviously it sounds like you both need marriage counseling before getting a divorce, but the problem is a lot of women are stubborn as a fuc*king mule, prideful as a queen, and they’re completely disloyal. So many women won’t even CONSIDER marriage counseling. But you should request that you both go, IN TEXT MESSAGE to her... if she refuses then reply “ok, but I’m documenting your refusal and for the record I’m trying to make the marriage work and help us have professional counseling and guidance to get back on track and you’re flat out refusing.” 

    You also need to immediately take all of the money out of the joint account, and put it into your personal account, so that she cannot steal the money for herself, or give it to her boyfriend. 

    Courts are very funny on finances. If the woman drains the joint bank account, they often don’t look very hard to find out where she stashed the marital money. But if a guy drains the marital bank account, then the courts will have private investigators and everything else and the whole 9 yards finding out where he put that money, and then getting him arrested for it. But the bottom line is, courts favor women unfairly, and so you need to be very smart.  

    If you take the money out of the joint account and put it into your own personal account, but you don’t spend the money or give it to anybody else, then you cannot get in trouble. You will just have to at worst, give her half. But at least you’ll get to keep your entire half. If you stupidly keep the money in the joint account, you’ll wake up 1 day and realize she’s drained it all. 

    ======

    Sounds to me like she’s cheating on you, and I highly recommend getting a paternity test on the baby before considering yourself the father. And before signing any papers. If you sign any papers, you will legally be responsible for the baby- and that means 18 years of child support. Even IF you find out later that it’s not your baby, you’ll STILL be on the hook! So I strongly recommend paternity test prior to birth. 

    If you actually stand up to her, grow some balls, and make it clear that she is not going to be benefiting financially from the divorce, and make it clear you are legally requesting a DNA paternity test pre-birth… She might reconsider trying to aggressively leave you. Especially if you leave the olive branch open to reconciliation, and let her know that you’re open to marriage counseling, but that if she wants to divorce, you’re definitely keeping the house and you’re getting a good lawyer and you’re keeping your half of the money 

  • Anonymous
    4 weeks ago

    She can access any money (bank account, charge account) that bears her name.

    It's just that simple.

    You have no obligation to hand her money/support unless you go to Court and that's what the Judge orders.

    After the child is born IF DNA reveals you are the father you will pay child support for minimally 18 years.

  • T J
    Lv 6
    4 weeks ago

    If she claims that baby is yours, make sure you have DNA test done, before you allow your name on that birth certificate.   Or you she get a abortion, and really never have anything to do with you, she has that kid, you will be in her life for 18 years, remind her of that. Hit the bank account, take half of the money. Do that now, and see if you can get a lawyer, legal aid to make sure you do not get the shaft.

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  • Anonymous
    4 weeks ago

    "Wife wants to divorce, can she continue to drain our money?"

    Yes unless you have a legal separation agreement which you do not.

    Have a nice day in Trollville.

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