I think I’m in love, with an anime character ?
This is so embarrassing to say
I’m fifteen years old, the past two years
has been the worst years of my life. I discovered anime, I used to be quite popular with everyone in school, I was the class clown I guess, lots of guy wanted to date me it was great, and I liked some back to! However I have seem to cut of everybody, by everybody I mean everybody. I now hate leaving my home, I haven’t left it in three weeks I only leave to go to school. I feel like I’m wasting my teen years falling for somebody who will never be able to return those feelings, the character is ryo from devilmancrybaby. It’s getting to the point where I can’t have emotional connections with anyone, I’m angry, and tired and frustrated all the time and I’m tired of feeling this way it’s so horrible for me. I feel like I can’t tell anyone because I now don’t have anyone to turn to, no matter how pretty I am I’ll never be able to be how I was before. I don’t know what to do with myself anymore all I do is watch anime. I have no motivation. The only good thing about this is how I study more during lessons because I have no one to distract or talk to. What should I do before it gets worse?
- Anonymous1 month ago
Get some friends who share your hobby.
- Anonymous1 month ago
Then you think wrong. That's not what being in love is. If you really think it is, then you mistakenly do so because you haven't actually been in love yet. What you are is obsessed, depressed, and anxious. It's hard to say which of those came first, but at this point it doesn't matter because what's now happening is you are cycling, have entered a cycle where they are feeding off of and exacerbating each other as all three of those reinforce isolation and isolation in turn reinforces all three of those because it rewards all three.
To better illustrate, here's an example: Isolation allows you to avoid anxiety, especially social anxiety, which is rewarding because anxiety is very unpleasant and so when you get to suddenly end that unpleasantness or even avoid it altogether, you get a temporary rush of elation, so you are teaching yourself to be more and more anxious by at every opportunity rewarding your brain making you feel anxious with an increasingly large rush of temporary elation that comes from avoiding it with isolation instead of powering through it.
The same goes for the depression and for the obsession-- the isolation providing you avoidance of those things that trigger your depression, the obsession distracting you from your depression and thus avoiding it and so rewarding it and worsening it rather than powering through it and getting past it, and thus you are learning to become more depressed and more obsessed while the isolation gives you the time you need to become more obsessed, which obsession you to fill up your isolation and avoid feeling depressed and anxious in your isolation.
But you should be able to see that that cycle is unsustainable because all of those short-lived rewards that provide temporary relief in the short-run are in the long-run reinforcing and increasing your isolation, anxiety, and depression. This cycle is not unlike the cycle drug addicts get into, engaging in increasingly destructive behavior because the temporary relief from pain it provides feels so good and so is a reward that reinforces that destructive behavior even though it ultimately leaves them worse off than before and only makes them seek out that relief again by engaging in more of that destructive behavior.
Just like with drug addiction, allowing this behavior, this downward spiral you're in, to continue will be your undoing. Actually, many in your situation when they think they've hit rock bottom and nothing works anymore turn to drugs, and when they do that, when that's why they turn to drugs, crawling back out of that doubly deep hole becomes so extraordinarily difficult that more often those people self-destruct, either through suicide or overdosing. So whatever you do, don't even think about trying or experimenting with drugs or alcohol right now.
Still, your behavior is unsustainable and will ultimately cause you to crash, will ultimately result in a complete nervous breakdown or a psychotic break. You must do everything you can to avoid that because if it gets to that point, it can take years to recover, even a lifetime, and in some ways, you may never recover. So don't let it get that far.
You need to see a psychiatrist who can provide you with cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), a very specific methodology that has proven to be highly effective and the most effective way that exists for people to break the cycle you're in by teaching you exactly what you need to do to reverse it and come back out of it. But to do that, to seek help, you have to admit there's a problem. You have to accept that you're not simply in love with an anime character, because believing that is to dismiss the gravity of your situation and believe that moving on from it is as simple as moving on from being in love with someone who doesn't love you back, as moving on from a crush. Not to say that crushes are easy to move on from, but it's child's play in comparison to moving on from what you need to move on from. So you must accept that that's not all it is. You must accept you have, for whatever reason that isn't your fault, are suffering from acute mental illnesses that are treatable and curable, especially at your young age, such that you can overcome them completely and put them entirely in the past and lead a happy, productive, socially fulfilling life filled with real people, even one whom you can actually fall in love with and, because of being real, love you back. But you first have to admit you have a problem so that you then admit you need help so that you can then ask for help so that you can then get you the help you need.
I worked as a guidance counselor for 35 years until I retired last year. I know of what I speak. This is a very specific pathology with a very specific set of indicators, or red flags, if you will, and what you say in your question raises every single one of them. Get help. Ask for it. It will be hard to do because it will go against all that avoidance you've reinforced so well in yourself, but you must just do it. Some people find it easier to go to someone who doesn't really know them, so if that's the case, just walk into a counselor's office or mental health clinic and just immediately blurt out the words, "I need help." Or if you're like other people, you find it easier to go to someone you know, so if that's the case, go to one or both of your parents and just blurt out the words, "I need help." I know it all seems so difficult, insurmountable even, but you don't have to climb that mountain right then. All you need is to do is get yourself in front of someone and blurt out three little words. It'll take less than a second. You can endure anything for less than a second. And once you do, the hardest part is over, the rest will flow like water from a faucet, and you will be on your way back to happy and healthy and who you want to be, someone who lives life instead of avoids it in isolation and emotionally investing in an inanimate being that is ironically called "anime" when it is as lifeless as a piece of paper or a pixel on a screen.
- KelleyLv 41 month ago
Stop watching much anime. Do other hobbies with your time like reading, drawing, journaling, painting, etc. Pray to God for a good spouse and get married once you are 20 years old or older