Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 1 month ago

Feeling resentful ?

My husband is constantly worried stressed and upset because of his pshyco ex wife who is a crappy mom to their daughter. It’s just not fair to me because I had no kids and didn’t make the same mistake he did having a kid with a crazy person. When I try to have a happy marriage the crap with him and his daughter drags me down... I’m in a unhappy marriage and I’m pissed off and I feel so dumb for marrying someone who has a kid and all this baggage. She is now taking him to court and has caused problems in our relationship since the very beginning. This is not fair. Any advice 

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  • 1 month ago
    Favorite Answer

    What? You found out about the crazy ex and their daughter after you married him? Yeah kids I did not think so.

    You made an upfront mistake and now it is haunting you. Listen, we all know that ex wives and children complicate new relationships, but you may have ignored the signs or were denying what was going on before you entered their lives.

    Anyway, this is effecting you to the point that you seem like you have one foot out the door.

    Sit him down during a quiet moment and figure out how he intends to handle the situation and how you can be protected from the drama. Come up with a plan and try to work through it with consistency...letting him know that if he does not learn how to handle the ex and his daughter. You will be given no choice but to leave the marriage. 

    Let him know that you do not expect him to abandon his daughter, but a mediator or a supervised exchange during visitations would probably be something to consider. Find solutions. He is probably pretty torn up about all this nonsense and could probably use some direction to take control. There are ways NOT to deal with a crazy ex, You know?

    You are not the first wife to be married to a guy who already had a family and failed relationship.

  • 1 month ago

    Often ex wives make it their lifetime mission to destroy the ex husbands life, she seems this toxic he needs to get as far away from her as possible to have any hope.

  • 1 month ago

    NO ONE can cause problems in a great marriage.  Seems to me you have involved yourself in your husband's issues.  Otherwise, you wouldn't be all bent out of shape over his ex.  She is HIS EX not yours.  

  • David
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    The irony here is that you are blaming your husband for your own mistake.  And at the same time, you are imagining mistakes that you think your husband made.

    You accuse him of having a kid with a crazy person.  WHOA.  That's a pretty strong statement, and it says more about YOU than it does about him or the mother of his child.  1st, if we assume that he made a choice to have a kid with a crazy girl, then that means he prefers crazy girls.  So what does that say about you?  Second, you need to realize that it's much more likely that the guy did not KNOW that the girl was crazy before she got prego.  Crazy people have a talent of acting sane and normal and very level-headed.  As a guy, you usually don't know your GF is crazy until way too late.  Like, after you've knocked her up for example.

    You think you are superior for not having kids.  OK, that's horseshlt.  But if it's what you really believe, then why did you marry him?  My 2nd wife hid a daughter from me, until AFTER I divorced her.  However, I think it's safe to assume that you knew this guy had a daughter before you agreed to marry him.  

    You say the crap with him and his daughter "drags me down".  Again, was this not a problem before you agreed to marry him? 

    The rest of what you write is rambling.

    My advice?  This is your mistake and your mistake alone.  Many girls would be OK with a guy who has a kid, or even several kids.  You obviously want to be the only significant person in your husband's life.  You should have figured that out before you married him.  You think it's not fair?  It's not fair to marry a guy and THEN decide that he's not right for you.  Do not ever make a promise that you can't keep.

    I think unless you change your attitude (which is really shltty, by the way) then you will likely have to divorce your husband.  That's not fair to him, but hey...he needs a girl who will accept him for the way he is.  It's unfortunate that his WIFE can't be that girl.  I feel for him...

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    hey when i asked this question months ago. u also said i am a fake. all i request is need repair.

     

    when i bashed this lady for u u said nothing.

    when i said she failed 5th grade biology u reported me.

    when i said she got remarried and had a milk baby and leaves baby with her mother

    all without seeing her facebook, i have good gut instinct... u said shut up.

    when i said he is a complete moron, u reported me.

    i had warned u. still u reported me.

    now enjoy

  • T J
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    If he has proof of her being unfit to be a mother, he better get a lawyer and try to get custody of the child. Maybe there is hope for the child.

  • 1 month ago

    Sounds like you're just as angry at him for knocking up a psycho as you are with yourself for marrying a guy who knocked up a psycho. If you're not happy and can't see a way to being so, then move on. 

  • 1 month ago

    Well, its truly your fault. If you didnt want to deal with "baggage" than you shouldn't have gotten married. Just ask for a divorce and let the poor guy move on with his life. Things will eventually get better for him.

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