How to tell if your boyfriend is gay?

Been with a guy for almost a year. I initially fell for him quickly, he seemed nice but a socially awkward virgin. I realize he gaslit me really early on "if you hang out with me i will take you to the most amazing Italian dinner" and "I am gonna book a trip for you and I to go to LA together" and said "i love you so much" very early on. He texted me often and I think I fell for him from loneliness. He lost his virginity to me but quickly revealed him preferred anal and watches tranny porn to get off because "they are just women with nice boobs" and a little "something extra". He is high on the narcissism scale but I am no psychologist. He seems to make  every conversations about him. He talks very negatively about other gay men and gay bashes people. He rarely listens to me when I speak, he doesn't seem genuinely interested when I talk. I don't want to simply jump to conclusions but his last 2 ex's have left him quickly because they thought he was gay and closeted. Deep in my guy I know he is using me to get ahead. He has made me pay for 90 percent of the dates. Does not have a single picture of me that he took on his phone even though we dated for a year. But has dozens of selfies of himself. Is he gay or just a narcissistic jackass? Has a lisp and a very effeminate walk. It's all about him. He also seems to be disgusted with women deep down. He says "she looks like her pussy would smell bad" about most women and laughs. 

Update:

I said he gaslit me in the beginning because nothing he ever did came to fruition. He would also say things constantly and still does to make me question my reality. He would  I told him it bothered me that he gaslit me into thinking we were "going on a cruise" or going to LA together. He would say "I am going to take you to do this and that" but he would never do it. And when we go to dinner, I end of paying because we just sit there with the check. He acts very entitled and feminine. 

Update 2:

He's not really "into girls". I don't think he is bi sexual. I think he is secretly gay and closeted. He doesn't actually like oral.

15 Answers

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  • 1 month ago

    Get rid of this ****. Ask yourself what your future 10 years older self would think of yourself going out with him. Get rid of him girl!!!! 

  • 1 month ago

    It’s hard to tell. I’m starting to think my bf is gay because he barely touches me anymore. I wish he had the sex drive of one of those black men instead of an asexual eunuch.

  • 1 month ago

    Why does it matter if he’s gay? Whether he’s into men, women, trannys or all of them... he still just sounds like an obnoxious prick that you should probably let go of

  • 1 month ago

    "Latent Homosexuality".

    Sounds about right, but

    If I were you, I would lay off of any insults towards him, cause if you were his first and he thinks that women are all smelly and doesn't like oral, remember that he doesn't have much to go by?

    End it, cause it for sure is no good for either party.

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  • 1 month ago

    Regardless of whether he's gay or not, I'd recommend you to be cautious here before committing yourself to any long term commitment as he's definitely sounding quite strange or abnormal. He could very well decide at some time in the future that he is gay or, he could be using you as a girlfriend to show others that he's straight.

  • 1 month ago

    why do you even care if he's gay? are you actually going to keep wasting your time on him if he's straight? he's a jerk and a loser and a user regardless of his sexual preference

  • 1 month ago

    he is using you to hide being gay

  • 1 month ago

    Does it really matter if he is gay, bi, closeted or whatever? Bottom line is that he treats you like garbage. He makes promises he won't keep, is self-absorbed, talks badly about women and gay men, doesn't listen to you, uses you and acts entitled. Dump him already and move on. 

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Yeah He's probably gay. Why are you staying with him? It's only been a year and from what you said he doesn't treat you very well...

  • donnie
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    He would be bi since he is obviously into girls too. 

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