Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 3 months ago

Am I a bad person for considering putting autistic child up for adoption?

I’m a 32 year old woman and my son is 4. He was diagnosed with Severe Autism and ADHD in 2018. My husband left, in 2018 due to our son. He has frequent screaming fits, hits the walls. Constantly slams himself to the floor like he’s trying to hurt himself and I really am not coping well. 

I have a diagnosis of Major depression, anxiety and PTSD. I receive therapy over the phone due to COVID-19 and have my prescriptions sent over to my pharmacy but I feel I’m reaching a breaking point. 

He was receiving Therapy services at his special needs school and it helped a bit. He can say a few words, knows his numbers, letters, and the whole alphabet. He still has trouble dressing himself and will only go potty if I go. He won’t actually go on his own, so he continues to wear pull-ups provided by his insurance provider.

I have no support as far as anyone in my family wanting to watch him. They say he’s too much work. But, when I say I wanna put him up for adoption, my family shames me and says I be guilty the rest of my life. But, isn’t it better to be honest with myself, then live a lie?

I feel depressed everyday and I don’t feel I’m mentally stable to care for him anymore. Thoughts, on whether I should give him up or stick it out with him?

5 Answers

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    3 months ago

    thats up to you

  • ?
    Lv 7
    3 months ago

    If you really do the research on how many kids like this actually get adoptive parents you'll find that he'll likely end up in some kind of a group home anyway. So look into the options for achieving that without formally giving up parental rights. Although I do understand that in some places the only way to get a kid into assisted living is to do the very thing you're considering. Just don't fool yourself that some loving family is going to take him home. That outcome is extremely unlikely. 

  • 3 months ago

    I think it would be the best thing for both of you.  I could not handle a child with special needs & I could not raise a child like that.  I am glad there are places for them & that there are people who specialize with this sort of thing.  I couldn't do it.  For your sake & the child's sake, it might be best.  You already feel like you are at the end of your rope.  How much more can you take before you lose your mind?

  • T J
    Lv 6
    3 months ago

    Check and see if his insurance will provide home care for your son. It would give you a major break.

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  • Anonymous
    3 months ago

    You’re a liar. You are probably bored and lonely. I pity you and your half-life

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