Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 1 month ago

I have a hard time trusting my husband?

My husband and I have been together for 6 years and we have 2 babies. He has worked at his current job for 5 years now and we have always had issues with his female boss. I always trusted my husband, but I never trusted her. A few years ago it got to the point where she invited him to a strip club and he turned it down. I then confronted her telling her she is inappropriate with my husband and to not speak to him unless work related. He agreed with me speaking to her and calling her out. Things seemed to stop and they only talked work related. 

The problem is when they go out for work events (Which is often), everyone always gets drunk and he stays out very late. They are a very party company. I have a hard time with it because I know she is there. I always feel like he’s going to lie to me about her, cheat on me, not tell me where he is, etc. 

He decided to share his location with me last year and always tell me where he is. He’s been doing a very good job with it but they will be out drinking for work events until midnight. I don’t feel this is right when I’m at home with our two babies who barely get to see him because he works so much and then does events like this. 

I truly just need advice on how to help my insecurities and not be so upset in situations like this. Is anyone in a similar boat? It helps to hear from others who have dealt or overcame this type of thing. 

12 Answers

  • Anonymous
    4 weeks ago

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  • 4 weeks ago

    Partying and driving home intoxicated, I wonder? THAT is irresponsible.

    If my spouse had issues with this situation, I would bring her along or be home, sober and early. Because several issues are present here, the boss situation, the money spent on cocktails, time away from wife and time away from children, drunk driving....all not good!

    But, you did protest and he did somewhat listen and change some behaviors. He needs to be reminded. Partying is not a work event. He could very well leave after the business part of the evening is over. I know of no productive professional gathering where partying is a requirement.

    You are honest to bring up your insecurities and I respect that. Howsoever, I highly doubt your husband would appreciate if you left him more with the children while you went out partying. Responsibilities and properties change when one gets married and especially when children are involved. These gatherings of his are work buddies drinking and not all business, I assure you. Not saying hanky panky is going on, but he needs to understand when it is time to come home to HIS WIFE and children.

  • 4 weeks ago

    Well for one now is not the time to look for a new job, I would just ignore it and trust what he says.  

  • 1 month ago

    Hmm... next time he is cooking something, come from behind and slide your hands between his arms, next hug him around his chest. Lean with your heart as close as you can until you feel his heart beat. Inhale his scent right in between his neck and hairline, find a good vein if you can, kiss it, bite it gently and then whisper into his ear "Let's escape together for a weekend.... just you and i... I'll send children to mom" 

    Then slide your hand down to his pants to check his reaction. 

    I mean his wallet))

    In general, how does he normally react when you offer to spend time together? Does it even happen?

    If he walks around full of gun powder in his bullet, yes you should be worried if he is not in hurry to get home.

    Men like that could blow up anytime.

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  • 1 month ago

    Take night classes at your local college that take you out of the home and leave him to stay home and raise his children. Avoid pretending this is an issue with her because this issue is 100% about your husband. Don't approach her again. This is about how your husband is conducing himself. He could shut it down in a second if he wanted it to stop. Come on. I'm a gal but I've certainly fended off unwanted advances at work.  You do not interfere with his job. He does not need your protection. He is making his own choices. Not about the other gal.                                                                    

  • David
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    Ok, there are two issues in your marriage.  You have a problem, dear.  But he also has a problem.  The two problems are remotely related.

    1st:  Your jealousy is a problem.  You don't realize it, but the more you object to the boss, the more attractive you make her, in the eyes of your husband.  Men don't want to be questioned and tracked constantly.  He might be sharing his location with you, but he shouldn't have to do that either voluntarily or otherwise.  The fact that he feels he needs to means that YOU have a serious problem.  And YOUR serious problem is damaging your marriage.

    2nd:  I think your husband needs to find a new job, or make it clear to his boss and all of his coworkers that he's NOT AVAILABLE after normal duty hours.  You say they go out for work events.  But is he ON THE CLOCK at the work events where he stays out late drinking?  If not, then he should be home with you.  If he's expected to attend these after-work parties as a formal responsibility / duty...

    Then he should find another job and quit his current one.  His current job is not compatible with the lifestyle of a guy who is married with children.

    Note that if your hubby solves his problem, your problem will likely go away, also.  HOWEVER, that does not mean that YOU do not have a problem.  You do.

  • 1 month ago

    This is hilarious because you do not have to trust HER, and don't need to.  You're married to your husband, and he's the person you need to trust.  If he messes around with her, it's HIS CHOICE to do so.  

    Women who approach other women they are jealous of, are some of the most pathetic and insecure people on the planet.

    and if you don't trust your husband, why are you with him?  ask yourself.

  • T J
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    He needs to get a new job. If he has to be at these bs work events, see if you can find where and when and have someone see what goes on, and if its work or not. Time to check up on these locations also. Why does he stay so late? work related crap should not run to midnight. Its time you insist he find a new job. This whole thing stinks like week old fish.  How do you know if he is really at the place he says he is at?  He needs to be tailed. And all the time.  I do n0t think there is a need for so many work related parties at all, they have a office, let them use that. Is his female boss the owner? If not, if she is using sex with him, you can sue the company.  Id stay on him every day until he got a new job. Maybe its time to hire a private investigator and see what is really going not be surprised if you file for divorce. Get pictures also.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    What you're describing is sexual harassment and a hostile work environment.  If this is a decent sized company, he needs to go to HR immediately.  If it's a small company, talk to a lawyer.  Not only can she be terminated, there's a chance you may get a settlement.

  • 1 month ago


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