I’m pregnant. My grown 33 year old bf Mom thinks I’m using a baby to get him to pay child support. He’s been acting distant towards me.?

We BOTH have good jobs. Grown, we’re both 33 going on 34. I work very hard and save money all the time. His mom is very financially dependent on him. She doesn’t care about our relationship obviously. She’s already asked him to move back to Florida. He always have to pay her rent, and other bills she’s still behind on. His brother, I believe has a mental disorder. He’s 28, doesn’t have a job, social life... stays at home all day and does nothing but draw on his computer. He sleeps until 1-2pm and is up until 4am and does it again. His mom always has low paying jobs and is very dependent on my bf for everything! Even to care care of his brother. I tried to love him through this ****... but if he continues to take care of them, he will be in debt himself. Plus, I’m not taking care of a baby by myself. I will indeed put him on child support of my baby doesn’t come first now. They have to grow up. His Mom is very healthy and can put her legs behind her head on Facebook. She should use that to get her own money. I feel like she’s using her son like he’s an absent husband or something. She calls everyday, sometimes multiple times. She always making him take care of his “little brother “ she calls him... he buys him computers and video games. I’m over this weird *** relationship 

8 Answers

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  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    1 month ago
    Favorite Answer

    Of course she does as this threatens her access to his money. But if you know this guy well enough to be having his baby you already knew his mother was a head case, so one wonders why any of this surprises you. 

  • 1 month ago

    So you're over it. Nobody asked, but thanks anyway. 

    What is your question?

  • 1 month ago

    Why did you allow yourself to get pregnant?  What were you thinking?  Is there any talk about marriage?  He is not going to marry you after getting you pregnant?  What a low life.  & why do you expect to get child support from a person that is already drained when it comes to money.  You need to change your mind about that.  You can't force him into paying for something that was your mistake.  You should have been the bigger person & done something to prevent getting pregnant.

    I think you have unrealistic expectations.  If my mom could raise 5 children all by herself, you can care for yourself & your child by yourself.  That poor guy is drowning & you will sink his ship.

    But then again, it takes two to tango & he should face up to his responsibilities.  He is 50% responsible for this upcoming child & should take 50% of the responsibility.  If he can't or refuses to take responsibility then you can force him to pay child support.  Even if it means he has to sleep on the streets.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    you made a bad choice on who to be a father of your child and it will only get worse -- put the child up for adoption OR never gripe again and live and just smile no matter hat he and his family say and do 

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  • ?
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Umm so you're with a guy who doesn't help you financially to raise the child you two have together ?  And why not?  That makes no sense.

  • LizB
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Your bf has accepted the obligation of being a financial caretaker to his mother and younger brother. He may not like it, but he took on that role a long time ago and does not seem intent on changing. If the fact that he has other dependent family members bothered you, you should have broken up with him to find someone without other family obligations rather than getting pregnant by someone who will never be wholly available to you.

    And yes, it's entirely possible that his immediate family will continue to come first. You are entitled to child support whether you stay with him or not, but trying to use your baby as leverage to force him to choose between you and the rest of his family is unlikely to work out how you hope it will. In an ideal world, you and he would have been married with this baby eagerly planned for, his mom and brother would take care of themselves, and he'd be able to focus on you and his child. But this isn't an ideal world, it's reality. You have to accept it how it is, not how you think it should be, and make decisions accordingly.

  • Ray
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    Talk to him, let him know how you feel. If they're relationship is leading yours to financial ruin, let your man know. 

    At that point your boyfriend will have to either change or not, if he changes here is how he can do it: 

    Honesty, he needs to tell her that he is heading towards financial ruin with all of the money he gives her, he needs to tell his family he is broke [even if he isn't]. Mom needs to put her big girl pants on

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    maybe you shouldnt be with him if hes like that

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