Would you conceal a suspected cancer in your child from your partner so he/she wouldn't worry?

My wife today told me that a medical condition our daughter had was suspected as being cancer by doctors, but she didn't tell me because she said she didn't want to worry me. In the end there was no cancer I told her I was upset because  I wanted to support her distress and if my time with my daughter was limited I wanted to know to make the most of the remaining time. How would you approach this if in the same situation?

3 Answers

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  • LAN
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Why should both of you panic until the final test results are in?   Yes she should have told you.   But the way you childishly came here to ask for opinions shows that she probably knows how emotionally stunted and incapable of handling that kind of news you are.   

    Why are you even asking us instead of talking with her about this in the first place?   This also causes me to think that you are childish.

  • 1 month ago

    Your wife has got some issues with you. I find it bizarre that she would tell you the possibility of cancer and yet then say it isn't. A normal person would say your daughter was diagnosed with condition X and not even mention the other diagnostic possibilities especially mentioning cancer or other serious illness. 

    She's basically telling you that you are not included in the loop and uses the worrying part as an excuse. You are being excluded based on her unilateral decision on what to include you in. Ask her if it is ok if whenever you have a possibility of cancer that you won't mention it to her so as not to worry her. She will hear it cold after the fact. She would be pissed. 

    You need to let her know in no uncertain terms that that is not acceptable if in fact you find that unacceptable. You are an adult and not a child and an equal parent to your child. She's assuming the position that she is the caretaker of two children. Not worrying the children is acceptable but not for decision maker adults. 

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    No, but I might postpone telling them for a few hours if they were going off to work.

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