Anonymous
Anonymous asked in HealthWomen's Health · 1 month ago

Has any girl/woman ever felt this? I just want to make sure it's normal (sexual health question)?

I'm 70% sure I'm overthinking this, but here we go... I'm 17, female, and I've started exploring my sexuality more (I'm straight). 

Honestly, looking back, I've never really experienced spontaneous arousal before, which I guess is normal for women, though it does worry me.  Is it in fact normal?  TMI: I've started masturbating frequently (I'm still a virgin) and it feels pleasurable once I'm doing it.  However, rarely do I feel an urge beforehand, I'm guessing I just have a lower libido or something?  I can orgasm, so I know what it's like to be aroused in the moment. TMI: it feels sort of like a dull, irritating/pleasurable achey throb.. I wonder why I never really got the urge to do this earlier because it feels so good, but maybe this is normal...??

Anyways, I'm worried that I have actually felt this earlier... I remember when I was 11 and I was drawing this guy shirtless (I can't remember exactly why) and I felt this really really weird ache down there and I was too young to know what it meant probably. Since, I had no desire to have sex with him of course, could it have NOT been arousal? It was JUST a pretty intense pang down there and I didn't think to do anything about it. Hopefully this was just nothing? Also, why don't I feel umm aroused when I see guys in person?? Yeah, maybe I'm mentally sexually attracted to some guys (my crush), but is it normal I'm not getting a physical reaction?? I'm just feeling weird and wondering what that whole pang was about lol..

Update:

sorry this is a very bizarre question, but I just want to clear some things up about responsive vs spontanoeous arousal/desire. Thanks!

1 Answer

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  • 1 month ago
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    You are focusing too much on this. Sex is part of life and teenagers are more likely to overthink this area of life. Your feelings at age 11 were early signs of female maturity that your mind and body were just discovering. And don't expect to be sexually aroused just by looking at a boy. That generally comes as you become more familiar with the person. Right now, you're doing fine, you're normal, and sex will find its proper place in your life.

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